Dear Mortals
by jayan0706
Summary: The characters from PJO and Kane Chronicles send us fan fiction authors letters on their opinions about some of the stuff people are writing. Read on if you're not opposed to the fact of being threatened at.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't not own the characters, though I seriously wish I did.**

Dear Mortals,

Listen up, punks. I've been reading some of your stories and I need to say that some of the junk you're posting is just _wrong._

As the demigods most of you are writing about are about my cupcakes, I feel that I need to make the message clear that if you post anything else like that I will- [ERROR, ERROR, SORRY, THESE WORDS HAVE BEEN DELETED DUE TO VIOLENT LANGUAGE]

So watch out.

Not-so-sincerely,

Coach Hedge

**Review, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase? Thank you! (Unless you didn't. Then no thank you)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Why had no one reviewed yet? Aw, I'm sad….. PLEASE REVIEW!**

Dear Mortals,

No offence, but why in Hades are some people pairing me with a _brick_?

I mean come on- it's a _brick_. An inanimate object. pairing me with it makes no sense. Don't any of you guys have a brain?

Sincerely,

Jason Grace


	3. Chapter 3

**I was bored, so I decided to post another chapter. My goal is to post one every day, or at least try to. **

Dear Mortals,

Why are some of you shipping me with Walt?

I don't like him- okay, fine, I do like him, but not in _that _way. Besides, **(A/N: Spoiler up ahead for people who did not read the Serpent's Shadow) **Sadie is Walt's girlfriend, and unless I want an early death, I will understand that Walt is taken. I'm pretty sure Sadie would back that up.

Sincerely,

Jaz


	4. Chapter 4

**Why had no one reviewed yet? I'm sad.:( Ah well. Here's today's chapter.**

Dear Mortals,

Why have some people started shipping me with Horus? **(A/N: No offence, Corus fans. I'm not trying to insult anybody, honest.)** That's just kinda wrong. For starters, I love Zia, which Sadie's always telling me is obvious. At least now I have something to prove her wrong with.

Also, Horus is a _god. _While Sadie might be fine with that, I think I really need to point out the fact he's, well, _old-_

*BAM*

*CRASH*

*CAW! CAW! CAW!*

Okay, I'm back, but I really need to go. Horus apparently objects to being called old, and- THEY DIDN'T JUST TOUCH MY SUITCASE! GIMME BACK MY SUITCASE!

My apologizes, I have to leave. I need to get my suitcase back from some bloodthirsty pigeons.

Sincerely,

Carter

**How was it? Good? Bad? please let me know in the reviews. Sorry if carter was a bit OOC there.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you Sanubis Lover for being my first reviewer. I can't tell you how awesome that was. I actually started jumping up and down. About your request, I'm not really sure I can really break them up because these are letters, but I'll try not to put to much Salt in here. Also, thank you to everyone else that reviewed. I really appreciate it. **

**I AM JUST SO HAPPY NOW! Here, take a cookie: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**

Dear Mortals,

Honestly, I just wrote a letter about shipping me with Walt, and then I found out that some people are shipping me with Anubis! Either that or the '-ubis' in 'Janubis' comes from another random person, which is highly unlikely.

Are you people _trying _to get Sadie to murder me?!

Sincerely,

Jaz

**Gah. My mom randomly signed me up for this math contest that's happening, like, TOMORROW, and if I don't score in the top ten, I have to pay the entrance fee. Ugh. Well, better go study. (Again)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Today I had the math competition, and my head hurts. So do my feet. Ugh. **

Dear Mortals,

Under normal circumstances, I could hardly care what you write in your so-called 'fan fictions'. But this case is special, and I shall tell you it in a very mature way.

WHO DECIDED TO SHIP POTHENA?!

**(A/N: No offence, Pothena shippers. I actually sort-of like Pothena, as in, I don't ship it a lot but I'm fine with it. It's just that in the books, Athena and Poseidon didn't get along very well, so I'm assuming that Athena would hate the idea of Pothena)**

It's horrid. It's impossible. I would never like that pathetic excuse for a man! We will never be together! Ever!

As the goddess of wisdom, I can tell you that shipping Pothena is most unwise. In fact if you ship it, you will never be seen again! In fact, I am already brainstorming plans on how you shall pay for this humongous offence. And trust me, they won't fail.

Sincerely,

Athena

Random Pothena Shipper: I SHIP POTHENA!

Athena: YOU! YOU GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR CRIME! DIE!

Pothena Shipper: Uh, I'll pass.

Athena: DIE! DIE! DIE!

Pothena Shipper: No offence, Athena, but you sound like Coach Hedge.

*Silence*…..

**Okay, not my best one. I have to admit, making a Pothena shipper appear out of nowhere is pretty random, but when you're head aches you don't have many ideas. Here's a tip: Never attend a math contest. Ever. It hurts your brain. (Unless you're this super smart person who knows everything. Then you can enter)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry I haven't updated in what, two days? I know that really isn't much 'cause a lot of other people update every couple of weeks or something, but my chapters are a lot shorter than most, but then again, THEY'RE LETTERS.**

**BTW- If you want something else to read while waiting, you could read my one-shot, How to Ask A Question. Laters!**

Dear Mortals,

I get this is fanfiction and all, but how do you some up with pairings like me and Carter? I actually didn't find out until Zia threw fireballs at my head and warned me to stay away from her boyfriend. That was not fun.

Sincerely,

Rachel


	8. Chapter 8

**I had spare time after posting chapter 7, so I decided to write this one right after. **

Dear Mortals,

What are you, a bunch of cretins? Sure, one of the boys I like was dying and the other one is the god of death, but that doesn't mean I like sons of death gods!

Okay, sure, maybe Nico looks a bit like Anubis. But I've had enough trouble with my love life now, so quit playing around with it. Or else.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sincerely,

Sadie

**I hope I didn't offend any Sadico fans there. *Ducks pie* Oh well….**


	9. Chapter 9

**My gods. This is like, the third chapter I posted today. Hope this makes you happy!**

Dear Mortals,

Why, in 276 stories have I betrayed Percy!? **(A/N: That was a made up number. Repeat: A MADE UP NUMBER. I have no idea whether or not it's true.)**

I would never do that to him! Ever! I swear on Styx!

Honestly, I'm pretty offended right now. Correction: _Very _offended. I would NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER betray him!

So get that stupid idea out of your heads!

Sincerely,

Annabeth


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi people. Okay, so this is the 10th chapter. I already have 15 reviews, which I am very happy about. :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please review- it seriously makes my day. I'm always so happy when I get one.**

Dear Mortals,

Geez, why do you people always have to be so inconsiderate? Sure, I like Katie, but that doesn't mean you have to shout about it all over the place. Do you know what Clarisse did today? She held up a sign that said 'TRATIE FOREVER' on it and paraded it around camp with her stinkball siblings.

Dudes, you guys have just signed yourselves up for the biggest TP-ing EVER.

Revenge is sweet,

Travis

**Don't forget to hit the button that says, 'review' on your way out!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello people! I'm up with another update! Kinda tired though… I'm gonna take a nap after this.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Keep it up!**

Dear Mortals,

Wow. Turns out you fan fiction authors actually found a loophole through this no-dating thing. We swear off men, and then you make us fall in love with woman? Seriously? I haven't even _met _Reyna. Not to mention I heard she likes my brother. Or liked him. Or whatever.

You guys are a bunch of weirdos,

Thalia

**Good? Bad? Please let me know in the REVIEWS. I'll give you cookies. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ugh. I'm bored…**

Dear Mortals,

Just because I'm trying to befriend Nico doesn't mean I'm in _love_ with him. I have a girlfriend, for Zeus's sake! Besides, he kind of creeps me out….

Sincerely,

Jason

**If you read this, please review. Right now I'm going to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…**

…**.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi everybody! I just got back home from school and I was like, well I don't have much homework anyways, so I'm going to update! Yay!**

Dear Mortals,

You mortals come up with the weirdest pairings. I mean Jercy? Seriously? Guys, he's my _cousin_. Well, not really since gods don't have DNA and he's Roman, but still.

M rated stories where the two of us love each other? Not cool guys, not cool.

Sincerely,

Percy

**Please leave me a review. I'm going to do a shout-out to everyone who's reviewed so far, so thanks to:**

**Sanubis Lover**

**Daniella**

**artemis20044002**

**Book worm 764**

**Horus**

**May a Chance**

**chocolatewriter**

**Guest (whoever you are)**

**NBrokenShacklesN**

**daughterofthehunt**

**ItTickleslikeCrazy**

**PurpleRoseFromYou**

**The reviews always cheer me up! Thanks for reviewing so far! Oh, and here's you're cookies: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) **


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone. I don't really know what to say now. I should probably be doing my homework, but whatever.**

Dear Mortals,

I know this is going to shock you, but me and Waltare breaking up. We just both really think that this isn't going to work out. Besides, I think I really like Anubis better and since he's in Osiris's court and all, I get to see him at least sometimes. I think Walt and Jaz are going to date instead.

HA! If you fell for that, than you obviously forgot it was April Fools day. Gotta go prank more people now… *cough*Carter*cough*.

Ta-ta,

Sadie

**And happy April Fools Day, everyone! I got pranked like, 10 times today… well, actually, that's a lie. I wrote this the day before April 1, so I would definitely have the chapter ready. but I actually might get pranked tomorrow. Or for you, that be today. Or maybe yesterday, if you're reading this on April 2. **

**Until next time! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm tired. I had loads of homework today… ugh.**

Dear Mortals,

Why do you pathetic beings assume that those so-called _heroes _will save the day? In practically all of your unworldly fanfictions, they are portrayed as successful and powerful. What you cease to mention, however, is that those heroes are nothing compared to me, Mother Earth!

Some of your fanfictions are even set after what you call the 'Giant War'. You deem me as merely some inconvenience, as something that can be brushed off and forgotten about!

Well rest assured that will not happen. I have waited for centuries to dominate the world, to see my superior children, the giants, topple Olympus once and for all, and I will not allow failure to seize us again.

When I kill all of you silly creatures, I will toss you into Tatarus. I will do the same to the seven.

Yours in immortalness,

Gaea

**Has anyone else here read Divergent? I'm reading the first book, but I don't like Tris so much. *Ducks pie* She seems a bit cold to me. **

**My friend actually spoiled the last book for me. I'm not going to write it down for those of you who haven't read it yet. Besides, you guys probably have better stuff to do… such as REVIEWING.**


	16. Chapter 16

**daughterofthehunt: Yes, you would definitely would be good on the debate team. That was very impressive.**

Dear Mortals,

Why are you guys pairing me with Jason? Piper saw some of the stories and got like, super ticked off. Long story short- dove poop is not a recommended accessory.

Okay, so maybe this is all just part of your crazy shenanigans, but I don't find it funny. I mean, M rated stories? Lemon? Hey, even this guy has limits.

Besides, i made a promise to Calypso. Gods of Olympus, who knows what's going to happen if she discovers these stories….

Mental Note: Don't teach Calypso how to navigate the Internet.

Yours in demigodness and all that,

Leo

**Was it bad? I wanted to add more, but my mind was like, _ so I finished it. Hope it wasn't too OOC… if it was OOC. I don't know. **

**PurpleRoseFromYou: Where are my cookies? -_-**


	17. Chapter 17

**PurpleRoseFromYou: Chocolate chip, please :)**

**Awesome Sauce: Because you asked for one, and because you gave me two, here's a cookie. (::) (I would have felt guilty if I hadn't gave you that) If you want to write letters, sure. Go ahead. Just don't copy my ideas, like, completely. That would be kind of unfair.**

**Cherries: This one is about romance, so if you don't want to read it skip it. The next chapter doesn't though, and I'm going to post that right after I post this, so you can read that.**

Dear Mortals,

Why are there stories about me doing you-know-what with Bast? They're rated M and disgusting. Not to mention completely untrue. Wait- Zia's coming! Gods of Egypt I have to go before she comes wrhfnlwjebflwjelwelwenvglwnvlwn

**Was it bad? *Yawns* I'm sleepy now. *Yawns again* Ugh…..**


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Mortals,

I don't mean to sound offensive and all, but I find it well, offensive that there's not much stories on me and my penguins. I mean, come on,- penguins are awesome! Like, did you know there's this African penguin that lives in Africa? And-

Okay, okay. Sadie's telling me that not everyone is as penguin-obsessed as I am. Well, actually, she's saying it in more of a Sadie-like way, but that's not a bad thing, if you ask me. Besides, penguins are so cool with their-

Ow! Sadie just hit me with a cushion. She says to shut up and let some people watch their TV in peace. Though she's not watching a show with penguins, so I don't get what the big deal is.

Penguins are awesome,

Felix

**I posted this after I read Cherries review. I'm trying to find more things to write about other than romances, trust me. **


	19. Chapter 19

**daughterofthehunt: Carter. And here ya go!**

**wizard of stories: Um, I'm not really sure how I could do that. It doesn't seem really likely to me, but if you have any suggestions, then I'll try and use those.**

**By the way- in case anyone's wondering why I don't reply to their reviews, I actually intended to do that but when I opened up the review section and was like, 'um, which ones did I already reply to already?' and confused and really stressed in case I made a mistake, so I decided to not do that. Also, some reviews I just couldn't find any other words other than 'thanks' to reply to, and it seemed kinda pointless to just write the word 'thanks' a gazillion times when i could just thank everybody who reviews in one breath. So THANKS! :)**

Dear Mortals,

Gods of Egypt, some people have the craziest ideas. By Ra's throne- what makes you think me and Carter are going to break up? We're going steady, in case you don't know. Sadie might think he's a dork, but I find that cute.

Even if some ideas are ridiculous, I find the Zarter fluffs more tolerable. People who make me break up with Carter- Read those and learn something.

Or at least try to.

Sincerely,

Zia

**PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT: Because of some personal issues, I might not be able to update as much as I used to. These 'issues' are actually unconfirmed- but they look like they could happen. What the issues are is my business, so don't ask. I might not be able to update as much, I might update as much as before. Just wanted to give you guys a heads-up.**

** The author,**

** jayan0706**

**P.S. I don't know why I'm writing this, but I feel like letting people know I'm female. Don't ask why,- I just felt like say- er, typing it. Laters!**


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Mortals,

This is kind of a heads-up about a book called, 'The Staff Of Serapis', which is a sequel to The Son of Sobek. That book included my brother (aka Punching Bag) and Annabeth's boyfriend. But fear not, because with me in it, The Staff of Serapis will definitely be better! (Oh ya, it also include's Annabeth. She's cool,- but's kinda nerdy, like my idiot brother)

You can read it at… huh? Someone already told you about it?

Barmy. Don't say I never did anything for you.

Ta-ta,

Sadie

**Yeah. This was kind of a heads-up for people who didn't know The Staff of Serapis existed… which included me, until I read Awesome Sauce's comment. Thanks to Awesome Sauce! Cookie for you. (::)**

**I actually found a place to read it online, and it was AWESOME. Definitely check it out, Rick Riordan fans! Review, and get cookies. ****(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) **


	21. Chapter 21

**This is just a little A/N, to answer a question that one of the reviewers asked me. Normally, I would wait until the next chapter and include this in the author's note, but I know what it's like to want to read something really bad so… yeah.**

**DIRECTIONS TO READ THE STAFF OF SERAPIS!**

**1\. Go online to , and write 'the staff of serapis' in the search engine. Note: Include the 'the' at the beginning. It's necessary.**

**2\. There's one result. Click on it. **

**3\. There's a yellow button labeled, 'Read in Browser', click that.**

**4\. You need to click on the green arrows to move the pages. The real story is about 6 clicks in. (I think)**

**5\. Voilà. Enjoy!**

**I take cookies as payment. :) (BTW- if for some reason you can't access it, let me know. I probably won't be able to really do anything, but I still want to know if my directions don't work.)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay, a lot of people are telling me that my directions didn't work. If you're searching on google, then it's the first result. If my directions still suck… don't kill me, okay? There's a reason I suck at procedural writing….**

Dear Mortals,

What is with a bunch of you guys calling me a Mary Sue? I find that pretty offensive… what did I ever do to you?

Sincerely,

Piper

**Nobody go, 'I think this letter made Piper seem like a Mary-Sue' or whatever, please. And I know this is kind of boring, but I am dead out of ideas. If you want, you guys can leave requests in the reviews, and I'll try to do them. **


	23. Chapter 23

**daughterofthehunt: A Mary-Sue is a character that is too perfect and usually makes you want to barf. I should have probably explained that in the previous chapter… stupid me.**

**1eragon33: Um, no offence, but I don't really get what that means. Could youb please explain?**

**Thank you to Kittyaceres and BlackAngelWings1010 for giving me suggestions. And thanks to everyone who reviewed! You people are awesome. :)**

Dear Mortals,

I am very busy with my pac-man game, so I shall keep this brief. What is with you _mortals_ calling me the 'wine dude'? I AM AN IMMORTAL GOD, and I should be treated with RESPECT! Peter Johnson-

DIE BLINKY! YOU SHALL PAY OF YOUR OFFENCE OF KING MY PAC-MAN!

Where was I again? Oh yes. Peter Johnson. Curse his soul to Tartarus for getting his own series and spreading that, that- _ungodly _title that bears a stain on my un-flawless reputation! As you mortals say, ' Stop that,- OR ELSE'.

Peter Johnson is an annoying, selfish brat that should not be given the honour of being showered with stories! In fact, that person should be ME!

What? You're saying I'm jealous? DROWN IN A BOTTLE OF MERLOT. I, Dionysus, almighty god of wine am definitely _not _jealous of anyone! How dare you even _think_ that ridiculous idea!

Never mind. I have a game to go back to, and (irresponsible) maggots/campers to attend, as well as a bottle of champa- um, a can of Diet Coke. That's what I meant to say.

In short, I have better things to do than waste my time with lowly beings like you.

Yours in immortalness,

Dionysus

P.S. If by chance, one of you mortals is actually clever enough to realize the truths of my statements, then you have my full approval to shun Peter Johnson and write stories about me and the splendid glories of alcohol.

**Wow. I enjoyed writing this one, even if it was a bit tricky. Sorry if I haven't updated for a while, I was kind of banned from the Internet, but I hope I can have the next chapter up by next year. Ha, ha, just kidding. Next week, maybe? *check my imaginary calendar* Hope so… my math competition results came back and my mother is not happy. It actually wasn't that bad… Top 25% in Canada, but honestly, nothing satisfies that woman. I could get first and she'd still find fault. Mothers. I actually got fifth in one contest before, but she said it was 'unacceptable' because I didn't get a prize. -_- See you all next chapter! And don't forget to review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay. I actually got a couple of requests, s I won't be running out go ideas anytime soon! Please continue to send those in. Also, I know how people say I shouldn't do romance so often, and I want to say, yes, I actually try not to, even if it doesn't show that much. It's just that there are so many… unusual pairings, so that sometimes gets my attention.**

**This letter will be about romance because someone requested it. If you have a problem with it, then maybe you could send an request without romance to help me along. Thank you!**

Dear Mortals,

How come sometimes you guys do threesome pairings? I don't even get how that works,- Annabeth was no help. Last I checked, she was blabbing about the logic of pairings using tons of complicated words, which is the downside to dating who I'm sure is the Smartest Girl On Earth.

And if it wasn't weird enough, the people you usually pair me with in those stories are my _cousins. _Well not really, but still. I mean Thalia? She's a friend. Besides, she's a Hunter, and if Artemis discovers those stories, I'm a jackalope.

Hope you understand,

Percy


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello people! I'm back! And I'm updating, which is probably very obvious.**

Dear Mortals,

I am so much better than Sadie Kane! How dare you suggest otherwise!

What kind of people are you?

Seriously, why are you making _her _the hero?

Ugh,you guys made me frown! I'll get wrinkles!

Why don't _I _get any adoration? I am so much prettier than

You mortals don't know what you're talking about, I'm better than Sadie and my traitor sister Lacy, who follows Dumpster Girl! I'm so much prettier, so worship _me _already! Everybody loves a glamorous heroine!

Later losers,

Drew

**Wow. This one was harder than I expected, but I finally finished it! Yay! By the way, I've decided that I'll try not to include the reasons why I'm sometimes slow at updating here,- I'm starting to feel like the barrel of bad excuses, which than I feel guilty because I really like writing for you guys. And I don't mean to sound like a whiner. See you next chapter!**


	26. Chapter 26

**OMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED! I AM SO HAPPY YAY!**

**!**

**Okay. I think I calmed down a bit. **

**So today, I decided to update, and then I come and realize I've got, like 113 reviews and start jumping up and down while squealing. SUCH AN AWESOME SURPRISE. And it really helped that I was already having an awesome day today, so COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! (::) (::) (::) (::)(::)(:::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(:::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(:::)(:::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)**

**Now for the chapter.**

Dear Mortals,

_Wow. Never expected that to happen…. _

Is there a problem, Seaweed Brain?

_NO, of course not, it's just-_

Regrets?

_Gee, Annabeth, cut the guy some slack._

__**Yeah, everyone knows he's only got eyes for you. **

_**Yeah. Sometimes you guys act so lovey dovey it makes me feel sick. Um, no offence. **_

___Um, none taken. I think…._

**Guys. Shouldn't we introduce ourselves? They might not know who we are… **

__I was about to say that. Just in case you haven't guessed, I'm Annabeth, daughter of Athena.

___Okay. Hi, I'm Percy._

_Jason._

__**This is Piper.**

_**I'm Frank.**_

**And I'm Hazel. We're the seven.**

_Minus Leo._

**Yeah, minus Leo. He's um…**

_Busy._

__**Yeah, busy. That's a good word for it. You see…**

**He's lovesick.**

_**With this girl.**_

___Her name is Calypso._

Of course, Percy of all people knows her name…

_**Not again….**_

__**I'm getting a headache. **

** I'm pretty sure it'll be worse when Calypso arrives…**

_ Wait,- WHAT?! She's coming? Oh man…._

Forgot to buy a gift for your sweetheart?

_Annabeth, I swear, it's not like that!_

Oh, really? What's it like, then?

_It's just that I left, and I tried to-_

Go back?

_NO! I tried to release her, because um, how do I put this… well, I don't love her the way I love you, but that doesn't mean she deserves what has happened to her. To have her heart broken over and over. I should have made sure the gods kept their promise, but I didn't. If she comes here… I'll be glad that she's out, but it might cause a lot of tension. Please don't get the wrong idea._

_… I'm no expert on love, but I'm pretty sure she's getting the wrong idea._

__**No, duh.**

_**…Let's change the topic. We're here about Leo, not to argue over relationships. Annabeth?**_

__*long silence* Fine. I'll do it later. Let's get down to business.

**Finally. Thank Artemis that's over!**

*menacing glare*

**Ugh, I mean, let's start!**

_So here's the thing. See, apparently Leo vanished somewhere for a few days after an attack on the ship._

_Yeah. And then she comes back, and he's…_

__**Different. **

_**Uh-huh. And none of us knew what was going on. **_

___Yup. And now he's getting really distracted._

_Like the time he walked RIGHT INTO the mast._

__**Or the time where he couldn't find his work belt.**

**Which was on his waist. **

_**Or when he started staring off into the distance and started muttering things like, 'I'm coming back for you, just wait a while longer'.**_

Even I have to admit that was pretty creepy.

_Ditto. I almost thought he was possessed so something. But the time I think he was the most distracted was when he drank five cups of his 'Leo's Awesome Demigod Lattes'. _

_Hyperactive person alert._

___AND he hogged the washroom._

Really? I seem to remember that you two fought over the bathroom like kindergarteners.

_**Busted.**_

** Ouch.**

_We did not fight over the bathroom like kindergarteners! It was mine, I got there first!_

_Don't worry Percy. Nobody believes you._

__**You guys didn't even notice it was the GIRL'S washroom.**

And there were other ones you guys could have went to. Did you really think there was only the one?

_Gee, thanks. You guys are the best friends ever. I feel so loved right now._

_**Anyways, we didn't know until one day Annabeth found some fanfics about it.**_

__**Which was kind of hurtful, because Leo is our friend. He could have told us!**

_But he didn't. Instead, we found out through you guys._

__**I guess this is just our way of saying thanks for keeping us up to date about that. I was getting worried.**

_Thanks, guys._

Thank you.

__**Thanks!**

_Thank you all._

___**Thanks. Even if some of you guys are calling me something like 'panda man'.**_

___LOL._

_**Shut up.**_

Boys!

_What?_

__**Not you. Those two.**

_Why us?_

**Because you're complaining. Let's sign off already.**

_Fine._

We're signing off in three…

_Two._

___ONE!_

_**Sincerely,**_

_** The Seven (Minus Leo) *Dramatic music plays for no reason***_

**Man that was longer then I expected. Thank everyone who reviewed. I haven't even read any yet- I just know I have a lot, so I'm going to read them now. This is why no one has a shout-out or anything, in case you're all wondering. **

**See you next chapter,**

** jayan0706**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hi people. I have no idea what to say here. **

Dear Mortals,

FIVE REASONS WHY THALIA COULD NOT BE WITH NICO DI ANGELO=

1\. I'll turn Nico into a jackalope.

2\. She's a Hunter. Men, honestly. And even some maidens-how could you have become so led astray? My Hunters do not have affairs with males.

3\. I'm pretty sure Thalia has no interest in Nico romantically. Before she saw sense, Thalia liked Luke, and those two boys are very different people.

4\. In a way, the two of them are cousins, so the idea that they would be dating I find a little… unusual.

5\. Did I mention I'd turn him into a jackalope? If so, that definitely needed to be stated twice.

Godly yours,

Artemis

**Was it boring? I actually started writing it from Thalia's point of view, but then I got the idea to write it from Artemis' mind instead, so yeah. See you all next chapter! :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hi everyone! I just wanted to say something to wizard of stories, who gave me the idea of chaos stories about thalico or thaluke. I'm working on that, but I actually hadn't even heard about stories like that, so I want to read a couple first to get what they're like. I apologize for not doing it so far, I will post one like that eventually. Now on to the chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

I heard the seven (whoever they are) wrote a letter to you thanking you for telling them that Calypso and Leo were dating or whatever. I guess this is similar, but from me thanking you for informing me what my brother Punching Bag has been doing.

FYI- Punching Bag is Carter, but I don't really want to talk about him right now. I am NOT HAPPY with him. Let me repeat- NOT HAPPY.

I don't know what in Osiris made him think he could keep this big a secret from yours truly, but he's going to regret it. As soon as he comes out of the shower, that is. I'm not going to strangle him while he doesn't have his clothes on,- I'd be scarred for LIFE.

But in case you people do want to know how I'm getting my sweet revenge, here's a hint: Itching powder, pants, date with Zia.

Ta-ta,

Sadie


	29. Chapter 29

**I case anyone's wondering, this doesn't include Annabeth's reaction because Percy actually told her about his run-in with Carter. (Deduced from The Staff of Serapis) I'm pretty sure Carter didn't tell Zia, though, so that means chappy for you guys!**

Dear Mortals,

I CAN'T BELIEVE CARTER UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I AM SO FREAKING MAD RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND DIDN'T TELL ME SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT. AND I MEAN WORLD-SAVING IMPORTANT. AND THE ONLY THING WORST IS THAT I HEARD ABOUT THIS IMPORTANT NEWS FROM HIS _SISTER_.

HIS _SISTER_ WHO HE DIDN'T TELL THE SECRET EITHER!

AFTER EVERYTHING HAD HAPPENED YOU THINK HE COULD HAVE FOUND LIKE, SOME TIME TO COME AND TELL ME WHAT HE SAW. I DON'T THINK IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN LONG. SURE, HE COULD HAVE BEEN SHOCKED BUT IF SADIE CAN DO IT, SO CAN HE.

I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND, FOR THOTH'S SAKE. DOES HE NOT BELIEVE-

Hello everybody. This is one of Brooklyn's Houses newest adult members-**(A/N: Remember how at the end of The Serpent's Shadow, Amos appointed chaperones?)** my name is Jake. **(A/N: Enter random OC guy) **I am sorry to inform you that Miss Zia had to be restrained at this point or else she would have burst into flames and started chucking fireballs like the last five times she attempted to write this letter.

Unlike the last five times, however, this time I will send this letter to you instead of hoping she won't get to angry while writing again, even though it isn't finished. You probably get the point anyways.

Sincerely,

Jake (And Zia, who wrote the part in the beginning)


	30. Chapter 30

**Hello everyone! Did any of you guys have Track and Field yet? I have. I failed so badly, partly because I was sick and kept feeling like I was going to vomit. :( The only ribbon I got was participation. And **_**everyone **_**gets that ribbon, so boo-hoo for me. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

Who knew they had Wi-Fi in the Underworld?

Oh, hi guys. In case anyone's wondering, this is Luke.

I know you guys are probably thinking,- _hey, how can it be Luke? I mean, he's dead, right? _And to answer that question, yes, I am dead. I'm in Elysium, and apparently it has computers with Internet connection!

Plus, the cool thing is that since I'm already dead, I can use technology whenever I want. I mean, it's not like I can die twice, even if monsters do come. So I thought I'd experiment with this iMac for a while, and then I'd go for rebirth.

I did not expect to find these random Thaluke Chaos stories online.

Just for the record, I like _Annabeth. _Okay, sure I realized that right before I died… but still. I do not like Thalia _that _way, though I don't think it makes any difference. You guys are probably going to ship us together anyways.

And Chaos? Isn't that the abyss from which all things came to exist? I'm pretty sure Gaea, Tatarus, Eros, and Erebus rose out of Chaos. And than Gaea had all those Titan children, and than Kronos fathered Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Hades, Demeter, and Hestia. And than Zeus had _a lot _of children, and I'm not even going to bother naming them all.

Man, I have a complicated family.

Another thing that's kind of complicated is why you guys think the gods will turn on us and Chaos will help. In those stories, Annabeth always betrays Percy, which is totally unlike Annabeth and makes me feel kind-of sorry for Percy, even though he's dating the girl I like. I used to think the gods didn't care for us, but… now I think I've changed my mind. Not all gods are bad, and some really _do _care.

Not that I'm talking about anyone in particular. What? You think I'm talking about Hermes? ImostdefinitelyamnoteventhoughmaybeIdohopehecaresatleastalittlebit-um, hey! I'm on Facebook now! I wonder if it'll let me make a account…

See ya,

Luke

P.S. I was wondering… if any of you guys see Hermes…you know, around… will you tell him hi for me? Doesn't mean anything.


	31. Chapter 31

**Just came back from biking and was like, **_**Man, I want to update a chapter. **_**So here I am! Thanks to everyone who reviewed,- I really appreciate it. Cookies, anyone? (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::). This reminds me, a while back, I tried to make a couple of my cookies blue. But for some reason, they showed up black in the chapter. I was so sad …:(. I guess fan doesn't allow coloured text or something.**

Dear Mortals,

What's up, guys? This is the Supreme Commander of the Argo ||, Leo freakin' Valdez!

Okay, that's Piper in the other room, telling me to shut up and calm down. As you folks remember, I sent one or two letters to you before. Both times, I admit I wasn't very happy. In fact, I was pretty annoyed. But now, I'm here to give you all some SUPER DUPER ULTRA MEGA BIG good news. And you know it's good 'cause it's SUPER DUPER ULTRA MEGA BIG good news.

So here's the news: I THINK I HAVE THE PERFECT MACHINE TO RESCUE CALYPSO FROM OGYGIA!

Cool, right? Now, I know you're all thinking, _But Leo, you guys are riding off to Athens to save the world from Gaea, how can you be concentrating on rescuing Calypso? _Well, the answer is that I can't seem to forget about her. Honestly, everyone else is preparing,- and we keep having these monsters attacking us, as well as a bunch of other stuff. If any of you want to hear about those, you guys can buy The Blood of Olympus when it comes out.

And I'm doing my part on the voyage, too, I swear! I wouldn't abandon my friends when they need me. But Calypso's also my friend, and she needs me too.

Anyhoo, I'm going to try this little baby out, see if she can get Calypso out of Ogygia and on to the Argo ||! All I have to do is press this button here and-

KABOOM!

…Well, that didn't go as well as I hoped.

Oh well. Back to the drawing board. Though I should probably take a shower first…

Peace out,

Leo

**I actually was going to do this chapter in Calypso's point of view, and write about her discovering the Internet or something, but then I learned that I SUCK at writing from Calypso's POV. I can not do it. AT ALL. **

**See you next chapter,**

** jayan0706**


	32. Chapter 32

**Random topic: Is anyone other than me excited for summer? I hope this break will be even more fun than the last,- though that'll be hard, since last year was the year I discovered the amazing amazingness of fanfiction. At least, I discovered it **_**after **_**two weeks of boring, forced torture that can be represented briefly in two words: tennis camp. Well, at least I'm not going to have to save the world or anything! (I hope)**

Dear Mortals,

This is Jaz. I'm glad to report this chapter is not about romance or shippings or Sadie killing me. I'm writing because I have a question.

Why do some people bluntly favour the demigods?

Like, I know everyone has different opinions, so if you just like how things are done at Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter better than how we do things at Brooklyn House, that's okay. But what I don't like is that some people say that demigods are way stronger, or write off Apophis as some minor thing, and say that Kronos and Gaea were way more epic villains.

Why do you say that?

First of all, demigods may be strong, but so are magicians! Maybe demigods have some special powers, but if we threw a ball of twine and said _Tas, _than that would wrap up any demigod that's charging. (Except maybe for that son of Hephaetus who can control fire,- he'd just burn threw all of it) Even if that doesn't work, we have more tricks up our sleeves. Besides, while demigods risk getting burnt up after drinking too much nectar, our healing potions don't have that sort of obstacle. So that's beneficial, right?

And while I can't do this, some people at Brooklyn House can become Eyes of the gods. *cough*Carter Sadie Zia*cough* That means god and mortal are totally in balance, and when that happens, it's even more powerful than a regular Egyptian god! I'm not an expert, but I'm sure even a powerful demigod would have some _serious _trouble beating that.

Okay. Secondly, why do some mortals assume that compared to the "big shots" Kronos and Gaea, Apophis is nothing? Sure, Kronos and Gaea are bad and all, but what makes you think Apophis _wasn't_?

Apophis is the embodiment of Chaos. All the arguments, all the unbalance, all that's unfair and cheap in the world _is _him. When fought him, he was in many places at once, and he slithered through many layers of the Duat. Apophis manipulated demons and magicians both to try and obtain his goal. That snake was one worthy opponent.

Not that I'm trying to imply Kronos and Gaea weren't! I bet Kronos was really strong and Gaea is even stronger. But so was Apophis, and to be honest, I think we should get some more credit for defeating someone like that.

Hope you guys take this message the right way and answer my question. Whatever you think, Egypt isn't weak. And if all three pantheons collide and there _is _a war like some of you put in your stories, than I hope you all watch, because Egypt won't go done without a fight.

True, the Roman empire was supposedly the greatest, and Greece was one of the most rememberable, but Egypt was the _first great empire of all time, _and that leaves an impact. Egypt _is _strong, and so are her people. Don't just write us off.

Sincerely,

Jaz


	33. Chapter 33

**Have anybody's summer break started yet? I know a fan fiction author whose break started in May. Mine didn't start until June 25. Anyways, I want to thank everyone who's been reviewing so far! You guys are just so awesome. :) Keep up the good work!**

Dear Mortals,

Hi, this is-

_Anubis, Lord of Funerals, Keeper of the Dead, _**(A/N: Or something like that. Please excuse me if I'm wrong.) **_and the boyfriend of Sadie Kane._

Hey! I'm her boyfriend too! Er, this is Walt writing. Anubis is being a jerk, taking over my body like he owns it-

_The jerk? Me? Don't listen to Walt,- he's just jealous that Sadie has a picture of _me _in her room but not him._

Don't listen to Anubis. He's lying,- I'm not jealous at all. I'm sure Sadie likes me better than him. Wait,- what picture?

_The picture of me. And she does not!_

Yes she does! Sadie told me she likes me!

_She likes us both! But she liked me first!_

She likes me more!

_Prove it!_

I kissed her.

_So? I did, too! _

I gave her an amulet that we could communicate through!

_I gave her a ceremonial knife as a birthday present._

…A ceremonial knife? What type of present is that?

_A good one._

If you say so_… _Spending a day alone with me was on the top of Sadie's list of priorities!

_ We talked about courtship rituals!_

Whatever. What do you think?

_Me? I think that Sadie should forget about you and-_

Not you. Them. You know, the people who are reading this letter.

_Oh, right, them. I bet the mortals ship Sanubis more than they ship Salt. Whose idea was it to name a shipping after a food?_

Beats me. But at least Salt is a word. Sanubis just sounds plain…weird.

_So, mortals, after hearing this debate, are you on Team Anubis?_

Or Team Walt?

_Send in your opinions in the reviews!_

Sincerely,

Walt _and Anubis_

**Sorry for not updating for almost two weeks. I got sick. (And yes, I know how crazy that sounds to get sick in the summer, but it actually happened. I was like, 'What the Hades? How can a person get sick in bloody SUMMER?!') I think the demigods and magician are starting to rub off on me with their typical craziness… I'm not sure that's a good thing. See you all next chapter! **


	34. Chapter 34

**Hi everyone! How's all your summers going? Mine is great so far. BTW- I'll try to update more now that there's no school, but no promises. On a happier note, I have a chapter for you all! (Oh, and Kittyaceres? mind if I steal- er, you know, **_**borrow **_**some of those cookies? I totally won't eat them.)**

Dear Mortals,

This is Walt, guys, thanks a lot for the votes of confidence you sent me with your replies. Now Anubis is being super annoying and HE WON'T STOP SAYING-

_I won, I won, I'm awesome, I'm awesome! I won, I won, I'm-_

A jerk, and nobody likes me!

_Sadie likes me just fine. Besides you're just being a sour grape because you lost._

By two points!

_Still, it was two points more than you got. Deal with it._

Remind me why 4 1/2* people voted for you again? **(A/N:*Since Kittyaceres voted for both Walt and Anubis, her vote got spilt in half. Walt had 2 1/2 people vote for him, and Anubis got 4 1/2 votes)**

_Because I'm awesome?_

More like annoying!

_Like I said, sour grape._

I'm seriously considering to stop hosting you right now.

…_But then you'll die._

No, duh. But if stops myself from hearing you brag, then it's worth it.

_Bu- Wha-! Then I won't be able to see Sadie anymore! You won't be able to, either!_

Well then, too bad. So I guess you'll just have to stop being such a pain, now, won't you?

_…I seriously hate you right now. As much as it pains me to say this, fine. Just don't get to carried away celebrating._

Okay. Sure.

.

.

.

.

.

.

MWAHAHAHAHA! I WIN! YES! VICTORY!

_…Sometimes I wish I could die. Or at least have someone invent earplugs that can block your host's talking inside the mind. I would give my right arm for a pair of those right now. _

WHOOPEE! YES! THAT WORKED!

_[Sorry, these words could not be printed on-line because a certain Egytian death god invented too many new cuss words that could not be translated. Hope you understand!]_

Sincerely,

A happy Walt, _and an extremely ticked-off Anubis_


	35. Chapter 35

**Sorry if any of you think this was a long wait… I kept debating how I was going to do this chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed,- keep them coming! Oh, and send in requests if you want to as well. Laters!**

Dear Mortals,

Oh, where did I put those darn cook-

Oops, my apologies I should probably introduce myself first. My name is Sally, Sally Jackson. Mother of Percy, I'm proud to say, even if that boy's always getting himself into trouble!

Many of you seem to be confident that he's going to defeat Gaea and come back. Honestly, I wish I could share your optimism. It's not that I don't have faith in my son,-I _do_, but it wasn't long ago that Percy had disappeared without a trace and some were convinced he was dead! And before that, there was the Second Titan War fiasco. And before that, when he blew up the mountain and they actually planned his funeral. And before _that-_

Well, you get the idea.

Believe me, I'd give almost anything to have my son back. To know he's safe and well… or at least as safe as you can get as a demigod. Sometimes I wonder if I was selfish and wrong of me to fall in love with Poseidon, even though I knew that if we had children, they would never be truly safe. But part of me knows I will never regret falling in love with Percy's father, and that's the truth.

Oh, _Percy-_

*sniff* I wish he was back here at home where I could keep an eye on him. *sniff* I'd stop worrying about him all the *sniff* time. Sure, he disappeared for months, lost his memory, went on a quest, went on another quest, *sniff* fell into Tatarus (I nearly had a heart attack when I heard), and no doubt nearly died a million times, but if he came back, _at least I would know for sure he was alive_!

*sob* I'm sorry dears, forgive me, I know that listening to a mother worry about her son is probably one of the last things you ever want to do *sniff*. If it makes you all feel better, I was going to send you this big batch of cookies I made, but I can't seem to find it!

Let me see. On the table?

…

No. I could have sworn I put it on the cooling rack, but now for some reason it's gone.

…

Inside the cupboard?

…

No. Is in maybe it's somewhere on the patio?

…

Nothing. Where could those cookies be- wait a minute, what's that crunching sound?

…

PAUL! What happened to my cookies?!

…

Sorry for the wait. Something, er, _happened _with my last batch of cookies, so I made you all a new batch, and made more because you've all been so patient waiting!

(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)

Enjoy,

Sally

**Wow, that's A LOT of cookies. :) So, I'm going to leave what happened to Paul up to your own imaginations, though I don't think Sally was very mad at him, just frustrated. Sally hardly ever gets mad, from what we've heard from Percy, she's awesome. See you all next chapter!**


	36. Chapter 36

Dear Mortals,

Gods of Eternal Egypt, are you guys all crazy!?

I mean, shipping me with my own _sister_? I can think of a gazillion things I'd rather do then hear about Sarter again. Man, I hope Sadie and Zia don't find out about this… oh wait. I'm pretty sure I can hear Sadie screaming downstairs how disgusting a certain shipping is and how she wouldn't be caught dead being with me like _that._ Well, I guess _she_ found out.

I should actually be seriously considering heading downstairs to tell her to shut up before any of the initiates (or adult chaperones) hear her yelling. Which, judging from the volume of my sister's voice, (Does that girl have lungs or what?) is going to be pretty darn soon.

Gotta go stop her before she rips away the last shreds of my dignity.

Sincerely,

Carter

**Gah. I had to sneak off to write this chapter,- my mom kept talking about buying me longer pants. I swear, that's all she talks about now. That, and how I should really be studying or exercising more because if I don't, I'll get fat. Ugh. At least you guys got your chapter though.**


	37. Chapter 37

Dear Mortals,

Please don't hate us! All we want to do is be pretty, be the centre of the show, have a famous demigod boyfriend, become famous, and be a child of a powerful god/goddess or virgin goddess! No big deal!

Sincerely,

The May Sues/Gary Stus of the Percy Jackson Fandom

**I hate Sues. They should all go die in Tatarus. Who's with me on that point?**


	38. Chapter 38

Dear Mortals,

Join me when I next arise (I _will _arise, in a million years or so, at least. The Kane siblings just delayed my rule, I assure you!) and I will reward you with these so-called cookies which you seem to love.

Sincerely,

Apophis

P.S. To all those insignificant mortals who think the Kane siblings are heroes, to the Duat with you! I am **(A/N: A billion of dust-particles in the Duat!) **the Master of Chaos, and _they _are the villains along with the rest of the Egyptian gods! When I rule over everything, you will feel my wrath, I assure you.


	39. Chapter 39

**Thank you to all the wonderful people who reviewed. I would put cookies here, but I'm seriously starting to think that if I keep supplying cookies so often, everyone will get diabetes…..**

Dear Mortals,

Why aren't there many stories on Frazel? I mean, if you search up Percabeth you get a gazillion results, with tons of AUs or romance stories. I get that Percy and Annabeth are amazing heroes, but can't some of the other demigods feel the love?

Sincerely,

Frank

P.S. What is with people calling me, 'panda man'? Seriously. Just because I can turn intoa panda doesn't mean I have to _look _like one.


	40. Chapter 40

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! Keep them coming. (And the requests too, if you have any.)**

Dear Mortals,

Now pardon me if this comes out the wrong way,- I'm not see to talking with mortals, or magicians, or demigods (if any would actually write these horrid stories!), or any organic life forms, really. But why do you always seem to be off pairing my son with people?

My wife Aphrodite has caused enough trouble in my life, thank you, so keep all this love drama away from my son. Or any of my children.

I remember Beckendorf and his girlfriend, Silena. I bet Aphrodite thought their story was romantic and sweet and all of that junk, but if you ask me it was too tragic for my liking. To me, two dead demigods equals two dead demigods and not some grand fairy tale.

Bottom line: Keep all this tragic, death stuff away from my son. If you're going to play around with his head like that, make it some nice, And-They-Lived-Happily-Ever-After stuff. I've already had to deal with one son dying, and don't want to cope with another!

Godly yours,

Hephaetus

P.S. Love is overrated. I should know.


	41. Chapter 41

Dear Mortals,

Contrary to what you all think, I am not heartless. You try getting sentenced to looking after a bunch of ADHD, annoying upstarts with dyslexia for a hundred years and see how _you _like it. The only good thing, (and there are very little of those, mind you) is the fact that I see my child, Pollux, often. He's never bratty or shoves Clara Reese's head into the barbecue pit. His brother didn't either, when he was alive.

Not that I'm actually being sentimental about his death. I don't _do _sentiment. I'm a god, I have absolutely no time for it!

Sincerely,

The absolutely NOT sentimental Dionysus

**Sorry if this one was a little OOC, I spent a lot of time trying to get it right. Keep the reviews coming! And send in those requests!**


	42. Chapter 42

Dear Mortals,

Stop writing about me like you _know _me, okay?

I know that sounds rude but some of you guys make me act kind of goofy in your stories… or how I did act before, you know, Bianca…left. And I'm not that kid anymore, so, just _stop_. Please. Because after I confessed I liked Percy, to like, TWO PEOPLE, the entire world knows and I really like my privacy and I'm just really,-I don't,- ighwerburfjbfrbfejfjbrfjfrnfifjvkvjfjrfjvnfvkorhfrie isjfbeifhvieriwefowrin.

_Nevermind. _Forget I wrote anything,

Sincerely,

Nico

P.S. I know this is kind of awkward after what I wrote up there, but since I'm guessing the other demigods know about fanfiction, could one of you, write something asking Jason to stop IM-ing me and Reyna?

I think Piper's getting the wrong idea and it's making it very hard for Reyna to move on from Jason. It's pretty obvious that she used to (or still) likes him.

Also, Jason trying to play the big-brother role is getting really annoying, and I might do something I seriously regret if he doesn't stop, SOON.

**This one sucked. I'm terrible at Nico's POV, so yeah. Review and Request? **


	43. Chapter 43

**This one was kind of awkward for me, because Gabe's, you know, a stone statue. And generally, stone statues can't write letters, or read fan fictions, or any of that. But then I was like, well, this IS supposed to be FANfiction, and not completely realistic, so I'm just going to screw the stone-statues-can't-write-thing and write one from his POV, anyways.**

Dear Mortals,

Do I look like I would abuse a child?

I assure you I would never do that, despite the fact that that boy deserves to be punched until he pees his pants!

Whatever the little punk has said about me, I assure you that I run a good, honest business **(A/N: Good and honest my ass!) **and he's a filthy little liar.

If someone _did _hit the boy, they'd be doing the world a favour.

Later punks,

Gabe


	44. Chapter 44

Dear Mortals,

I AM OLDER THAN ARTEMIS!

I just had to get that message across to you guys. YOLF (You Only Live Forever), right?

I am hot,

Apollo


	45. Chapter 45

Dear Mortals,

My brother's previous letter just shows you how idiotic he really is. Men, honestly.

The whole, "I am the eldest of the twins" thing is very poorly thought out. We're _twins, _and if anyone was older, it would be me. After all, I helped Leto give birth to Apollo, and how could I do that if I wasn't born _first_?

Even Rick Riordan agrees with that logic. But don't believe me, see it for yourself- it's right there in 'Percy's Jackson's Greek Gods'.

Sincerely,

Artemis


	46. Chapter 46

Dear Mortals,

WHAT?! WHERE?!

*Goes and buys the book, starts reading*

RICK RIORDAN! YOU WILL PAY!

But hey, at least he lets me sing a song about my awesomeness!

Sincerely,

Apollo


	47. Chapter 47

Dear Mortals,

Oh please not that song!

Maidens,- and men, too, I suppose, since even men don't deserve this- PLUG YOUR EARS!

Sincerely,

Artemis


	48. Chapter 48

Dear Mortals,

La la la, I'm so awesome, and something that rhymes with awesome!

I have tons of cattle, and la la la la la…

The Amazing Singer,

Apollo


	49. Chapter 49

Dear Mortals,

THAT'S _IT_!

*Grabs bow and aims*

SHUT UP!

Sincerely,

Artemis


	50. Chapter 50

Dear Mortals,

La la la…

BOOM!

MY LYRE!

Sincerely,

Apollo


	51. Chapter 51

**Today was the first day of school for me and it was awful. I had to wake up early and everything. Don't get me wrong,- I don't **_**hate **_**school, I actually do pretty well in it. But that doesn't mean I have to **_**like **_**it either, especially when it could be summer.**

**And I could be lazy.**

**And sleep. A lot.**

**And not do as much homework! (Because my mom does make me do summer homework, but there's not as much, thankfully)**

**Also, one of my reviewers said something about me having fun with copy/paste, and I have one thing to say: guilty. (I mean, come on, did you really except me to type every single cookie in chapter 35? Gods no, I'd be up the entire night)**

**Anyways, here's your chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

I am the god of poetry and awesomeness. Therefore, my haikus are always awesome. I even have proof for you all, a new haiku!

_Apollo is hot,_

_ Anyone who hates me is not,_

_ So just deal with it._

Sincerely,

Apollo, the very awesome god who writes brilliant haikus

**Anybody besides me notice the second line was eight syllables? I bet you all did just now!**


	52. Chapter 52

**Hello person reading this! I am back now! Sorry for the kinda-long wait. My friend, who I will refer to as Piggy, (Piggy's going to kill me for that) bribed me with her book to write a fan fiction about another friend, who I will refer to as Old Lady (I'm not sure she'll even care) getting shipped with her phone. Which is really weird but makes sense because Old Lady brings it EVERYWHERE. I am not exaggerating. She's addicted to it or something.**

**Okay, done talking, time for the chapter!**

_Scrap Creak Creak,_

_Squeak cre-ak scrap scrap, squeak scrap scrap grind 'creak creak creak' scrap squeak. Creak hiss creak scrap scrap squeak, grind hiss grind hiss hiss creak creak. Scrap grind hiss creak creak. Creak creak scrap, scrap squeak grind grind, hiss hiss scrap, creak scrap creak creak, hiss grind squeak scrap grind. Hiss grind, scrap creak creak creak?_

_ Scrap grind,_

_ Hiss creak grind_

Translation:

Dear Mortals,

I am a metal dragon, and therefore have no interest in this 'Calypso' woman. I function to help run the Argo ||, and help Leo with whatever he needs. I was not built to charm people. On the other hand, I'm quite capable of making cheeseburgers, setting people on fire, and occasionally making little girls cry, though why they do I have no idea. By the way, do you want fries with that?

Sincerely,

Festus


	53. Chapter 53

** .KFRNLGSFLHBJSFHLSFDLBJDSFHJLFDHLDVSBJLVSDBLHJFSHLJSFLHJFSHLJSVBLVBSLDHEFLUGOHCDHOIADCHPIRGSHOUGRSHIOEFWHUOGREUYFRYGIEFJHLDFNLJCDKBJCLBADHIJLFSEGOUFWEGYIFEWYGIFEKBJDFANLJADCBJLSDVHKSFJLBSFHLJBSFDHULSDFJHLSJBLSFBJLVSBJLSDVJLHDVSBJHLVLJBVSDGUODVSGUSVDGYIFCAHLUAEFBJLFR NSVLKJBDSJBLHHLHVDSLSDHVLHVSFHSVHF;HHNHFSLHHLSHFLSIHFSHFHYSVSVKNVSNNVFS, CK,JMDCKNDFBHFHIBFDHIFVHIVSHLHLIEWFGUFUFYFFUEWFIHJBLDSBDVSNVSNVSBJLVSBJLFVJBVFVDSHHFDSJDSNFDLNDSLJDSJDLDJHHCEFJNEONRWONRWNHORWJNWNRWNIKFRWLKNVKGRNFVHIFBJKVFLJNFGSLJRSGJSRJHRGEHORGHUFBJVSJVDSLNDAHJFSBJGRJKBGRJ,RWNODFNHISGHIFEJGRJGRJKGRKRGOHTUTDNSDNSKMDFNFIDBFOEHITHFNCHGODNEMEBAHEJWKRFIFOFBRBNRFOGRKJBRFJNRWHRNRNREGPIHGRENIGRENIPRGPIKRGIHORGOUHTUORTOIHEWRNJDSFMSDFMSFVNFVNEFGUEFIOEWLELSAOAKXNNXCJFJFGJGFEOJGFEJBFVNKJVF SDLKRKFNGKVDJNRGLKEHRHERKHGFLDSJFBHVGKEURHKJTBW,SNDBVKSJXDHOUIFYWOEIRHFGJEBRKJGVBDFKXNMBVKDUGHROURHGOEYRHTGLEIRFEWLJNRGJNGRHIGTIUTREOUHRTEHREHRTHRNRGERGJNEGRNJNJRGNFBDNKDSVJIDFSOIOETIHRTEORGIEROYGRHGRRHGREIRGGREGFRENFENKVFEMKFDWMKFEHEWHQWEQEREWRWHRGJHRFEIJIKFWFRWEWRFWRRNR4FKNFGNFSJDJHERKRRGJHHRHFUCKJHFRHUFEWHRWJGHSKLDIKFNLSKEIRUFIOLTWEHJFLWIKHIRI4EHLWKJANFCMSHITASSHOLESJDLHSGVGLKRJLGFWORJGVEORPUTGEIPRJGVK;DFNMVLKDFNLVKSJREEOILGHETRIHTEJRBFV, .FJLEIRJGFLSKDFJNKLSDHJFLWEHRFIW**

…**.Okay, okay, I'm calm. I'm really pissed about something that happened these last few days, but I can't say what it is because my friends always read my fan fiction and I don't want them to know. (*Gives friends a look* So **_**don't **_**ask!) **

**Lets just say a lot happened these past few days and now I feel like a storm cloud is looming over my head. (*Gives friends another look* No, you CAN NOT ASK WHAT IT IS!) **

**Knowing them, they probably will. But I can say it's not something they did and I would appreciate it if they didn't bring it up. **

**Thank you.**

**Now that my temporary rage mode is over, (for now) lets get on with the chapter.**

Dear Mortals,

_Ce n'est pas possible! Je ne peux pas croire!*_

What has happened to our glamour? What will become of the world?

I trusted those Kane brats to save Egypt from Apophis, but they should know better than to reveal our existence to the entire world! _C'est une catastrophe!*_

Sincerely,

Michel Desjardins

***This isn't possible! I can't believe it!**

***This is a disaster!**


	54. Chapter 54

**Hello everyone.*coughs* Ugh, being sick sucks. Thankfully I'm better now… and I got to miss a math test! MWAHAHAHAHA! I've got 5 days now to study for it, 6 if you count today. That's practically as whole week! YES! **

**So I've noticed the reviews have been slumping… can you guys please send in more? You don't have to, but honestly, nothing encourages me like your reviews.**

**Well except maybe for Piggy. She's constantly giving me pep talks about how I'm going to be an awesome author someday. (I want to be an author when I grow up) Here's one of them:**

"**Your work is unlike all the other books I've read, your writing is so special, and it's going to take you far in life. So don't say your okay, because that's only what you think. We're all harsh critics on ourselves, but remember this,- your writing is amazing, so amazing, I love it, others love it, and soon the world will love it. Because your writing is amazing. Never forget that." **

**Yeah, I know. She can be annoying sometimes, but she's really good at cheering me up. I don't know why I put that there… I think I'm feeling sentimental today or something.**

**I was going to write something else here… I forgot what it was. No wait, I remember. I just uploaded a one-shot, for those who don't know, it's called 'It Was Worth It', narrated from Annabeth's POV about her relationship with Percy. Check it out sometime.**

Dear Mortals,

I don't know whether or not charmspeak works through a letter, but here goes nothing:

_Do not ship Jeyna…Do not ship Jeyna….. Do not ship Jeyna…._

(Is this enough?)

_Do not ship Jeyna…Do not ship Jeyna… Do not ship Jeyna…_

I'm starting to creep myself out. How long should I do this?

_Do not ship Jeyna….. Do not ship Jeyna…Do not ship Jeyna…_

I'm pouring so much energy into this I think I'm starting to imagine there's a dead bee in front of me.

_Do not ship Jeyna…Do not ship Jeyna… Do not ship Jeyna…_

Wait a minute, _is _that a dead bee?

_Do not ship Jeyna….Do not ship….._

DEAD BEE! IT'S A DEAD BEE! HOW THE HADES DID THIS GET IN MY ROOM! OH MY GODS! OH MY GODS! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hysterically yours,

Piper

**Yes, I know Piper was a bit OOC there, and I don't know if she actually is scared of dead bees. That part was based on one of my own experiences (Yes, I don't like dead bees. They freak me out. Problem?).**

**Another thing I want to put here is that my mom started pestering me how if I want to become an author, I have to start early. So now I'm trying to publish a short story I WROTE LAST YEAR- oops sorry, hit the caps button by accident. **

**For all of you guys that care, it's WAY harder than it sounds. First of all, you need a literacy agent. Basically, if someone steals one of the books you write and tries to sell it without the cover, they're the ones who take care of that problem, along with other stuff. What stuff? I dunno. I didn't really research that much about them.**

**But because the story I wrote is way to short to be anything other than a picture book, I don't think I really need one. However, I do need a publisher. Again, it's really hard to get one. I researched for ages and came across a publishing company that sounded good,- Ripple Grove Publishing or something like that, but you have to enter a submission, wait for four months while they consider it, and list your accomplishments, which is where I fail. **

**I'm not going to put my age on here, but I can tell you I'm not even a teenager yet, much less an university graduate with degrees or anything. So I've decided I want to get it on iBooks, so I can see if anybody will be interested in it. Also, on iBooks, you get 70% of the price the books sold for, whereas if it's on paper, you get 5%-10%. I know, that's not much.**

**Which brought me to the fact my 'picture' book doesn't even have pictures yet. I don't want to hire somebody to draw them for me, since then I'll earn basically nothing. On the other hand, that means I'll have to learn how to draw things on the computer…which is going to take classes….which is going to take time and money. Ugh.**

**But I'm not giving up!**


	55. Chapter 55

**YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! *FANGIRLS AROUND* YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! NICO'S GETTING HIS OWN POVS IN THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS! WE'LL FINALLY SEE SOMETHING FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW! *FANGIRLS SOME MORE***

** (Note: Regular writing is Demeter, italics is Ceres)**

Dear Mortals,

Why am I always some cereal obsessed maniac in your stories? I assure you, I've had some non-grain related ideas before. Such as murdering Hades and his death brat.

Speaking of his child, there's a rumour going around in Pheme's gossip column that he's going to have chapters from his POV, as well as that crazy augur and that Roman girl Rey-

HEADACHE.

_There seems to be a pain in my head._

I need to concentrate,-

_I will conquer all who oppose me. I am-_

DEMETER!

_Ceres. _

Greek!

_Roman._

That girl, Reyna, daughter of-

_Bellona, goddess of war._

Will have her own-

_point of view. Why don't we get one? We are the gods._

Ugh! I hate these moments! Hera will pay for this!

_Juno ran when we grew angry. That was a cowardly act. She should,-_

DIE!

_She's immortal, you kuna! _**(A/N: I highly recommend not searching up that word because it's… impolite. I wan't sure I could put 'kuna' there and not change the rating, but it's Ancient Greek so I guess understanding that is voluntary…..)**

_ Sincerely,_

Demeter


	56. Chapter 56

**Hi everyone! Today, I have my friend Piggy here with me. She hates being called Piggy, but we don't want some random stalker person knowing her real name, so yeah.**

**So, uh, hi. Piggy here. (Long story how I got that name, doesn't have anything to do with my physical appearance FYI, for all you dirty stereotypical people out there in the world.) I'm just spamming the keyboard so HIII.**

**Um, jayan0706 is back. My friends types inhumanly fast….. and the nickname DOES have nothing to do with appearances. Old Lady just made it up and the name stuck, for some reason….. I feel for her. **

**Anyways, here's the chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

Me and Piper? I'm starting to think the entire fandom makes no sense whatsoever. Okay, that's an exaggeration. Percabeth fans have sense, and so do some others. But that shipping has a 0% chance of being real… just like there's a 0% of Piperbeth fans not shipping us because of this letter, unfortunately.

Because of that, I'll keep this letter short. Here's a list of reasons I would not date Piper, anyways:

1\. I'm straight. Don't get me wrong,- I have no hate towards homosexuals. I strongly believe they are just like normal people, except they like the opposite gender. Personally, I find it sad how people hate them because they find being lesbian or gay "unusual". I could write an essay about why that's not true, but then I might run out of paper.

2\. Piper is head over heels for Jason. Now that's a realistic ship. Maybe it's because you guys don't know them as well as I do or something, but I don't think they would ever break up….. unless of course, one of them died,- but I don't want to go there.

3\. I love Percy. Seriously, after all the trouble I had to get together with him,- Luke, Rachel, Calypso, memory wipe, and reunion, I'm not going to throw our relationship away. Besides, I _like _him. Love him, whichever you prefer. And if we keep coming back to each other despite all the things the gods have sent our way…. I really think we're meant to be together.

Okay, that sounded extremely sappy. I think Aphrodite's sending waves of sentiment my way or something…. I'm going to stop this before I start sobbing tears of love like some damsel in distress. Which I'm _not._

The not distressed,

Annabeth


	57. Chapter 57

Dear Mortals,

I am so freaking pissed right now.

Today, our class had our annual bus safety thing and while I'm not the person that usually goes around pointing fingers a people, especially online, I have to say that someone made me want to scream at them.

What makes it even more disappointing is the fact that the person, whom I will call Guy, is an adult. Adults are supposed to be role-models for younger children, and they pretty much screwed up in that department. Yes, I know that many people did something wrong that day, but losing his temper and playing the blame game was _extremely_ childish. I am very offended that Guy called us the "rudest class is the rudest school" then preceded to very obviously whisper about how bad we were to other people in front of our faces, which made him a hypocrite, since that was rude.

Even if he was a guest, that didn't give him an excuse to badmouth people, didn't give him in excuse to punish a class for another class's crime, didn't give him the excuse to be a world-class jerk and not even _consider _the fact that only certain people in the group he was assigned to were at fault, while the rest of us immediately lost our respect for someone who carelessly insulted countless innocents in the school that had been on their very best behaviour for that person.

No matter how angry he was, he should have calmed himself down. He should have gotten his temper under control, lectured the troublemakers for their actions, apologized to the students who were paying attention, and made it very clear that while apparently the kindergardeners were better than us, that next time we should be more respectful. I could have admired that, tried to improve because of that. Instead, he chose to act childishly and let his emotions rule him, which I do _not _approve of.

Ahem. Sorry for the readers out there who thought this was another chapter. I'm pretty mad right now and kind-of needed to get it out. Maybe once I've cooled down I'll think this was a bit harsh, that Guy could have been having a bad day, but for now I don't really want to forgive him.

Don't get me wrong,- I'm not saying Guy is this evil villain. He's okay, and I appreciate him coming to talk about safety…. but I can definitely say that while some people deserved that tide of fury he unleashed at us, many people didn't, and as a I decided to write this because I really needed to get all these vented up feelings out, and writing for you guys always cheers me up. :)

Sincerely,

jayan0706, your amazing author XD


	58. Chapter 58

The Blood Of Olympus Spoiler:

Nico studied his face-his sea green eyes, his grin, his ruffled black hair. Somehow Percy Jackson seemed like a regular guy now, not a mythical figure. Not someone to idolize or crush on.

"So," Nico said, "Since we're going to be spending at least a year seeing each other at camp, I think I should clear the air."

Percy's smile wavered. "What do you mean?"

"For a long time," Nico said, "I've had a crush on you. I just wanted you to know."

Percy looked at Nico. Then at Annabeth, as if to check that he'd heard correctly. Then back at Nico. "You-"

"Yeah," Nico said. "You're a great person. But I'm over that. I'm happy for you guys."

"You…so you mean-"

"Right."

Annabeth's grey eyes started to sparkle. She gave Nico a sideways smile.

"Wait," Percy said, "So you mean-"

"Right," Nico said again. "But it's cool. We're cool. I mean, I see now…you're cute, but you're not my type."

"I'm not your type…Wait. So-"

"See you around, Percy," Nico said. "Annabeth."

She raised her hand for a high five.

Nico obliged. Then he walked back across the green, where Will Solace was waiting.

**OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, THE FEELS OF THAT. I GOT THAT FROM MY FRIEND WHI FOUND THIS ON G+ SOMEWHERE AND REPOSTED IT. I ACTUALLY HAD TO TYPE THE ENTIRE THING ALL OVER AGAIN, BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON IT WOULDN'T LET ME COPY IT, BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT. NICO CONFESSES. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! **

**(AND YES, AS FAR AS I KNOW, IT CAME FROM THE REAL BOOK. IT ACTUALLY WAS A PHOTO SO SOMEONE MANAGED TO GET A COPY OF IT AND YOU CAN SEE THE PAGE NUMBER AT THE TOP AND EVERYTHING,- MAYBE WHOEVER GOT IT WAS A RELATION OF RICK'S OR SOMETHING?)**

Dear Mortals,

_Wait, what just happened?_

**(WARNING: YOU HAVE TO READ ABOVE TO GET WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS CHAPTER. GO READ THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS SPOILER THINGY)**

Nico just said he liked you, duh.

_Yeah, but WHAT? I didn't- my gods,-_

I guess you're just a likeable person. I can agree.

_But how,- but what,- how can you be so calm about this?! You're my girlfriend, Annabeth!_

I know that. But I'm also a child of Athena, so therefore, I am wise enough to know that Nico was telling the truth when he said he was over you. Also, I've suspected for a while now that he's homosexual.

_And you didn't tell me?!_

Yes, but I had a good reason. For one, you are freaking out. And I didn't know it was _you _he liked until now.

_I AM NOT FREAKING OUT._

_ …_Keep telling yourself that, Percy.

_I AM NOT FREAKING OUT. I AM NOT FREAKING OUT. I AM NOT FREAKING OUT. I AM NOT CONFUSED AT ALL. THAT WAS ALL SO CONFUSING!_

Someone please remind me why I like Percy again?

Sincerely,

Annabeth and _Percy, who is NOT FREAKING OUT_


	59. Chapter 59

**HI EVERYONE! I FINSIHED THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS THE DAY AFTER IT CAME OUT AND IT WAS AWESOME. HOWEVER, OCTAVIAN DID NOT GET A POV. AH WELL, NOT ALL RUMOURS CAN BE TRUE.**

**NOW I KNOW YOUR THINKING, BUT IF YOU FINISHED IT THAT LONG AGO, WHY DIDN'T YOU UPDATE SOONER? THE ANSWER: I HAD NO INSPIRATION WHATSOEVER. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY. I WON'T CALL IT A WRITER'S BLOCK 'CUASE IT WAS WHAT, LESS THAN A WEEK LONG? BUT YEAH, I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE **_**FOR DEAR MORTALS. **_**I HAD ABOUT A DOZEN OTHER STORY IDEAS AND I WAS SCRAMBLING AROUND TRYING TO RECORD THEM SO I COULD START A NEW STORY LATER IF I WANTED TO.**

**ENOUGH OF MY RAMBLING IN CAPS, LETS START THE CHAPTER!**

Dear Mortals,

_What_? You've mean you've read _all our bloody thoughts_? Sure, maybe I was supposed to suspect that already, but I was so busy reprimanding you guys about the shippings that I totally forgot! You guys don't see _everything, _right? Like the countless times I've went to a stall to "do my thing" or when I've had "my time of the month"?

Okay, Carter told me that you guys only see our thoughts during the books. Breath, Sadie, breath. Your life is not over.

…He _is _telling the truth, right?

Sincerely,

Sadie


	60. Chapter 60

Dear Mortals,

I don't _like _Will, okay? You guys need to stop spreading that rumour around, seriously. Jason told Piper about Solangelo, Piper told Annabeth, Annabeth told Percy, Percy told Frank, and Frank told Hazel,- which is why I'm being pestered by 25 attempts to Iris Message me at 5:00am in the morning! You would think Hazel would wait until a better time, like noon or something. Schist.

Sincerely,

Nico

**I am a total hypocrite. I ship Solangelo, and I've written a fanfic about them, Doctor's Orders, whose third chapter I will probably post today. Probably. **


	61. Chapter 61

Dear Mortals,

Why is it that so many people write crossovers? I'm not saying they're bad, but I already have to deal with gods and monsters. Why should I deal with the Capitol and Voldemort, too?

(Also, I don't really like Avenger crossovers because they make Leo joke about how I could join them and become Aquaman Junior)

Sincerely,

Percy

**This chapter is dedicated to my former teacher that is awesomely awesome. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**


	62. Chapter 62

**Hi everyone. I just want to ask you guys a question,-everything I've written so far has been either Percy Jackson or Kane Chronicles, (mostly Percy Jackson) and lately I wanted to write something different. However, I know some people don't like it when an author starts writing about a different series, (I'm actually one of them. I don't know why I don't like it,-I just prefer it when a author sticks to one series. Okay, that just made me sound spoiled and selfish.) **

**If you guys say you don't mind me doing it, I will. But if a lot of people say no, I'll just create another account and post the stories on there, or maybe just not do it at all. The series I want to write about is Hetalia-Axis Powers. It's a really good anime that you guys should check out. Now on to the chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

Okay. So a lot of you guys are excited about a new book Rick Riordan is writing, called: 'Magnus Chase and The Gods of Asgard 1# The Sword of Summer'. Cool title, I guess. Despite me being a demigod, I've never known much about Norse Mythology,-unless the movie Thor counts. Considering how much Hollywood and mortals get wrong, I doubt it.

The blurb for the book is: Magnus Chase has always been a troubled kid. Since his mother's mysterious death, he's lived alone on the streets of Boston, surviving by his wits, keeping one step ahead of the police and the truant officers. One day, he's tracked down by an uncle he's never met—a man his mother claimed was dangerous. His uncle tells him an impossible secret: Magnus is the son of a Norse god. The Viking myths are true. The gods of Asgard are preparing for war. Trolls, giants and worse monsters are stirring for doomsday. To prevent Ragnarok, Magnus must search the Nine Worlds for a weapon that has been lost for thousands of years. When an attack by fire giants forces him to choose between his own safety and the lives of hundreds of innocents, Magnus makes a fatal decision. Sometimes, the only way to start a new life is to die...

Pretty intense stuff, if you ask me. The Norse gods are _way _wilder than the Greek ones…now _that's _a scary thought. I mean, our gods are hardly time. I feel for this Chase kid…I mean Magnus. Calling him by his last name makes me think of Annabeth….

Sincerely,

Percy

P.S. I read the blurb over again, and now I have this really crazy idea in my head. Didn't Annabeth once say she had a cousin in Boston….?


	63. Chapter 63

Dear Mortals,

Some of you guys wrote AUs featuring Percy as a nerd.

Percy. A. Nerd. _Percy. _

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Gods save us! Percy's smart! THE WORLD IS ENDING!

HAHAHAHA!

I still cannot believe this,

Thalia

P.S. One word: BLACKMAIL.

**I feel bad for Percy now. Thanks for all the reviews! I still cannot believe I have *checks the amount of reviews* six-hundred and ninety reviews. SIX HUNDRED AND NINETY. **

***Bows down* I AM UNWORTHY OF THIS HONOUR! BUT I'M NOT GONNA COMPLAIN!**

**I seriously never thought I'd get this many. In the beginning, I thought I'd get around three-hundred. Hades, if I'd gotten one hundred I'd have been happy. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. THANK YOU. **

**Cookies: (::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)**

**BTW- My mom had signed me up for YET ANOTHER math competition. Though technically it was my fault 'cause I told her to sign me up for it. -_- We weren't getting a lot of homework and I felt like my grades were dropping so I thought I should do it…then I figured out it was nine days from that day. AFTER THEY SIGNED ME UP. Oh, and now I only have 6 days to study.**

**WHY DID I TELL HER ABOUT IT?**


	64. Chapter 64

Dear Mortals,

Why do you guys always make me some humungous jerk in your Percabeth stories? Okay, I get that I sided with Kronos and all that, but in the end, I gave my life to save Olympus!

I think some of you just make me the enemy because you guys need a love rival, and I like Annabeth, so I'm the natural choice. That makes sense, in a way, and I sort-of get why you do it, but for the people bashing me just because they ship Percabeth, can you please stop? I'm not some abusive, spoiled brat. You can write your Percabeth stories without doing that to me.

Sincerely,

Luke


	65. Chapter 65

**Thanks to anyone who reviewed/followed/favourited so far. Keep it up!**

Dear Mortals,

Leo said I should write to you guys to help me practise my writing. He gave me this sentence to copy, I'm supposed to write it ten times:

Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome. Leo is awesome.

Sincerely,

Harely

P.S. Do any of you guys have a fire extinguisher? Leo's rolling around on the floor covered in flames and laughing. I wonder why…?

**Note: Just for people who don't know/remember, Harely is the eight-year old son of Hephaestus. You know, the one who Leo thought could go something rounds with Chuck Norris and not break a sweat? **


	66. Chapter 66

**Gack, I have an essay due tomorrow and I'm dreading finishing it. Ah well, at least I only have 2 more sentences to write. I thought I'd take a break and give you all a chapter. Enjoy!**

Dear Mortals,

I am _not _stupid! Stop making me seem so dense!

Okay, yes it took me like, five years **(A/N: It is five, right? I'm not sure if it's four or five…) **to realize she liked me, even after she kissed me on that mountain, but that doesn't mean I'm _dense_! I can be smart. Like when I…

Um…

When I…

Er…

You know, let me think on that. I'll get back to you later.

Sincerely,

Percy

**REVIEW! I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!**


	67. Chapter 67

**Hi everyone! Nice to see you all again,-it's almost Christmas! Anyone else excited? I am! And I'm severely misusing the exclamation mark, but oh well! Annabeth would murder me, though!**

**Question: Out of curiosity, what are you all doing for Christmas? I'm staying home, 'cause I'm fabulous that way. Maybe I'll try and get up some extra chapters since it's winter break now. **

Dear Mortals,

We got this question from a Guest reviewer who asked us why we call you guys mortals when technically we're mortals, too. We though about it for a while, and we realized that _is _pretty weird. It'd be like an American going up to another American and saying, "Hey American, where's the nearest Starbucks?".

How the mortals thing got started, we don't know. But we're going to keep doing it, because calling you guys 'humans' makes us sound like we're aliens or something.

Also, the majority of us are too lazy to think of anything else.

Also, Annabeth argues that she's not lazy. It says MAJORITY of us, Annabeth. As in, most of us, not all.

Also, Frank wrote this because we kept fighting over the pen. Zeus knows how we managed not to destroy Camp last time we all wrote in a letter.

Also, we're going to stop starting with Also, because it's starting to get annoying.

Sincerely,

The Seven

**BTW- Did you guys know that this story is actually the second most reviewed Percy Jackson and Kane Chronicles crossover? 0.0 I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!**

**Here's your cookies: ****(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)**


	68. Chapter 68

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! ENJOY THIS GIFT AND HOLIDAY INSPIRED LETTER!**

Deck the halls with boughs of Hazel,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

…_What the Hades, Leo?_

_**Should I be offended?**_

**Percy, Hazel, ignore him. He's an idiot.**

_Kay. Thanks for the tip, Wise Girl._

**Your welcome. Now shut up and sing your part already.**

_Fine. 'Tis the season to be,-Polly?_

Whoa, is that a Polly Pocket doll? Where'd it come from?

**Probably one of my siblings. They must have left it here…**

_The Aphrodite Cabin plays with dolls?_

**Some of us do. I don't.**

Or do you?

**Leo, shut up.**

_*Sighs* When is it going to be my turn?_

_**Yeah, and mine?**_

**Can you two boys be patient? It's not my fault this is going so slow! Now Piper, please sing the CORRECT lyrics and set an example.**

**Down we now out gay apparel,**

**Fa la la, la la la, la la la.**

_Isn't that kind of offensive?_

_Actually, Percy, 'gay' is another word for happy. So no, my girlfriend is not insulting our cousin._

_Good. 'Cause if she was, I would have-_

_Touch Piper and I will kill you._

**Jason!**

_What? I'm defending your honour!_

_Dude! Chillax. I would have gotten angry, is all._

_**The last time you did that, the sushi table at Camp blew up.**_

_I thought we promised not to mention that ever again!_

**Percy, things like that aren't forgotten so easily. I had maguro nigiri (1) stuck in my hair.**

_That tuna was once alive! Fish are friends, not food!_

_**Percy, telling your girlfriend she had fish corpse in her hair is not a good idea.**_

What Frank said. Also, did you just quote Nemo?

_Yup._

_I loved that movie!_

**Ugh! Can't you lot ever concentrate? I knew singing Christmas carols was a bad idea.**

**No kidding.**

_**Should we just stop now before this gets out of hand?**_

**Good idea.**

**Sincerely,**

**Annabeth, **_**Hazel, **_**Piper, **Leo, _Percy, __Jason, __**and Frank**_

**(****1) Maguro nigiri is a lean cut of tuna, also a type of sushi.**


	69. Chapter 69

Dear Mortals,

I am way more awesome than Carter.

_Gee, thanks sis. For the record, though, I think I'm better than you._

In your dreams.

_Isn't that comeback overused and cliché?_

Shut up. So who do you think is better, me-

_Or me? _

Tell us through you reviews!

_Sincerely,_

_ Carter _and Sadie

_P.S. Haha, my name's first._

P.P.S. Shut. UP.

**In case it wasn't clear, regular writing is Sadie and italics is Carter. I think I'm going to write only Kane Chronicle letters for a while, I've been neglecting them lately. :( Sorry if this wasn't funny enough. Personally, I like Carter better out of the two, but let me know your opinion through your REVIEWS. **


	70. Chapter 70

**I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A WHILE. I got a load of homework I still need to complete and a writing competition I want to enter coming up so I've been kinda slacking… again, sorry!**

**Shout-out to Awesome Sauce because she bribed me with cookies. XD What can I say? I have a soft spot for them! But seriously, all my readers are awesome. You guys rock!**

**Also, just to clarify, regular font is Carter and **_**italics is Sadie.**_

Dear Mortals,

The Results of the competition are Carter: 7, Sadie: 12. Don't worry about me, I'll cry when I get home.

_*Pats Carter on the back* It's fine. We all know nobody can top my awesomeness._

What awesomeness?

_The awesomeness that let me win, duh._

…*Goes back to sulking*

_Sincerely,_

_Sadie _and Carter

**By the way, are you guys trying to make me into a hypocrite? Right after I say I'll be writing more Kane Chronicle letters, a bunch of people asked for things that included Percy Jackson characters. Ah well, at least I wrote several…I'll get back onto Kane Chronicles later. **


	71. Chapter 71

…**.THANK YOU GODS. THE INTERNET IS WORKING. FINALLY.**

**Yeah, my Internet went down again. We seriously need to find out what's causing the problem. Not only does it annoy me because I cannot update or read fan fiction, it also makes doing some of the homework I get impossible. I had a very close call this week with a geography essay, I don't want that repeated. **

**Anyways, here's your chapter! Regular is Leo, **_**italics is Sadie.**_

Dear Mortals,

So I'm like a hydrogen bomb, huh?

_ If Carter was the one writing this, he'd probably point out that technically us two together would be like a bomb. Then again, if Carter was writing this, he'd be the one paired with you, and that relationship would be anything but a hydrogen bomb. _

True. But isn't he kind of like Annabeth, though? That girl is scary. (Don't tell Percy I said that)

_In some ways, yes. In others, no. Carter could not pull intimidating off if someone gave him step-by-step instructions how._

…Well, you're nice.

_Oh yes, I'm very nice. That's why I like to explode things to annoy brother dearest. (You should have seen his face when I threatened to Ha-Di his suitcase.) _

I don't even know what that means. I don't think I want to either. But wait- you like to explode things?

_Sure, why not? It's fun. I mean, exploding the White House wouldn't be fun, (Especially if there were people in it) but exploding small things are fun. _

I see… *rubs hand together*. In that case, would you like to help me with something? I want to prank a bunch of people in my Camp, and it would be a lot easier with a magician on my side.

_Is this prank insane, crazy, and possibly life-threatening?_

Yes.

_I'm there._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Sadie _and Leo

**Camp Half-Blood better watch out…and ban those two from ever pranking people together. By the way, I'm sick. So if you see any really weird spelling/grammar mistakes, blame it on my pounding headache.**


	72. Chapter 72

**Hello again to all my fabulous readers. I cannot believe that we are in the 900s for the reviews…. 0.0 I have to admit, I'd never thought this story would get this popular. I'd always assumed it would get **_**some**_** attention (0 views for a story this long would be pretty depressing), but never this much! You rock! If we get to 1000 reviews I think I'll die of happiness.**

Dear Mortals,

I am sincerely regretting volunteering to help bring the Athena Parthenos home. Not because I helped save the world of course, but because me and the faun- er, satyr got closer. And while that is fine under normal circumstances, he now has a baby. A violent baby that needs babysitters. Guess who Coach Hedge picked for the job?

Yeah, me. He also asked Nico (Read=demanded) and since no one else would agree, we got stuck with the role. Even though I'm a _praetor_!

Ah well, you know what they say. With great power comes great responsibility. And a great hate of changing diapers.

Sincerely,

Reyna


	73. Chapter 73

**Hi. Okay, so where hold I start? With good news or bad news? And do I even have good news?**

**So first of all, SO MANY REVIEWS. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. I'm thinking about writing the 1000th reviewer a story about any pairing they want. Obviously there would be restrictions, such as no M-rated stories and asianeyebrows is not legible to participate, but hopefully you guys will like the idea. Though is it cocky to assume I'm going to reach 1000 with still 22 reviews to go? *shrugs* Tell me what you think of this in your reviews.**

**Now on to the bad really I should call this the stupid news, because it's pretty stupid. You see, in a moment of weakness I prayed to the gods for help with something, and to pay them back for it I was like, 'I'll sacrifice a lot of my computer time in February!'. Yeah….**

…**That sounds even stupider (Is that a word?) typed up. But I'll feel really bad if I don't uphold my part of the deal, partly because if you say you're going to do something, you should do it, and partly because I'm actually terrified if I don't some god is going to transform me into a hedgehog. Why a hedgehog, I have no idea. But still. Tolerate my weirdness? (I'll still update, promise.)**

Dear Mortals,

Despite what my Boss says, today _is _National Give Your Pegasus a Donut Day, and therefore you should all give me a donut. Preferably a chocolate one.

Sincerely,

Blackjack

P.S. Don't ask how I wrote all of this is English when I have hooves. Just don't.

**On the sidelines:**

**Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, when is your pegasus friend going to pay me back for that spell that allowed him to write?**

**Rainbow Dash: Uh, dunno…we pegasi can procrastinate an awful lot. Now excuse me, I'm gonna buy some donuts.**

**BTW- My sudden urge to write Hetalia fics is gone for now, but I might right them anyways. Don't know why I'm letting you guys know. Obligation, I guess?**


	74. Chapter 74

**And we've done it, folks! I have somehow accomplished the miracle of getting over 1000 reviews- and it's all thanks to you guys. Seriously. Take all the credit, I don't care, I'm so happy right now :). Also, it's not like I'd have gotten far if you wonderful people hadn't been dutifully reviewing all the time.****Cookies are at the bottom of the letter****.**

**In case any of you are curious, the winner of the story is asianeyebrows (I'm not trying to be racist, that's her actual pen name). Some the more observant people reading this may notice that I wrote that she was NOT allowed to participate in the last letter (Because she's the sort of friend that holds this sort of thing over your head for all eternity), but yeah. She annoyed me until I agreed. Stupid friends. Ah well, at least I can irritate her into choosing the type of story I want to write.**

**BTW- In past letters, I've referred to asianeyebrows as 'Piggy'. Sound familiar?**

**Legend: **Regular is Carter**, **_Italics is Sadie_**, Bold Regular is Percy, and **_**Bold Italics is Annabeth. **_

Dear Mortals,

**So you're Carter's sister, huh?**

_Yup. And you're that Percy guy my brother met I while ago- an encounter that he forgot to mention to me, coincidentally?_

*Groans* Sadie, I've said sorry about a dozen times already!

_Yeah, well, it's not enough._

_**Hmph. At least Percy had the good sense to tell me about the whole thing. **_

Wait, did you just imply that Percy is smarter than me?

**…YES.**

_**Uh-oh. **_

**I'M SMARTER THAN CARTER! HIS OWN SISTER SAID SO! SEE? I CAN BE SMART, PEOPLES! **_**VERY **_**SMART! And stuff.**

It's people, not peoples.

**Shut up. I'm smarter than you.**

_***sighs* Carter, Sadie, can one of you please de-size his ego a bit so we can all fit into this room?**_

Gladly. In 1259 B.C, Egyptian pharaoh Ramses || and Hittites King Hattusili negotiated a famous peace treaty. What was it called?

**…That's Egyptian stuff! How am I supposed to know that?**

It was called the Eyptian-Hittite treaty.

_Wow, that's creative._

**…**

Fine, then. Lets talk about something Greek that has something to do with the sea, just to make things easier. In ancient times, the Persians were considered the Greeks' arch-nemesis. They fought a series of battles set over the time period of about half a century, which were later named the Greco-Persian Wars-

_Again, so creative._

Be quiet, Sadie. During one particular battle, the Greek fleet- which was Athens was in charge of- was made up of around 350 ships. This was about what size of the Persian fleet?

**How the Hades is this supposed to be easier?**

Give your answer in fraction format. For example, a half, one third, one fourth….

** Um, um, okay. Uh….a half?**

Nope. One third.

**Same thing!**

_**Percy…*shakes head* Those are two vastly different things.**_

*smirks*

…_Annabeth, now I think we need to de-size my brother's ego._

_**Punch him.**_

*stops smirking* Bye. *bolts*

_Come back here! *runs off after him*_

_**Ah, sibling love. Isn't it sweet?**_

**I don't know what to say to that. Ah well, at least I'm not the only one suffering.**

_** Sincerely,**_

_** Annabeth, **_**Percy, **Carter who is still running _and Sadie who is still chasing him. _

**Fun Fact: To find out the thing about the question Carter asked Percy, I just typed 'Egyptian stuff' into the Google search engine. The Greek stuff I already knew- I love learning about the Greco-Persian wars. Anyways, take a cookie:**

**(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)**


	75. Chapter 75

**Sorry for the two week wait, guys. I kind of ran out of inspiration for a while (REMEMBER, KEEP SENDING REQUESTS IN!)**

**And if that wasn't enough, my former teacher gave me a flyer for this writing contest. Yes, ANOTHER one. But if you win this one, you get published. Like, really published. I nearly died of excitement when I found out.**

**What does this mean, though? I'll definitely keep writing Dear Mortals, but the story for Piggy may have to wait a while. *sighs* Geez, I feel like a barrel of bad excuses…. I'M GONNA KEEP UPDATING, THOUGH!**

**Normals is Nico and **_**italics is Zia. **_

Dear Mortals,

So…hi.

_Hello._

…Well, this is awkward.

_No kidding. I'm pretty sure we're the only two people that don't automatically start blabbing about all these crossovers._

True.

_It's weird, though. I mean, don't get me wrong, Carter and Sadie are both great people- but I still feel kind of left out that I'm not included…and mad because CARTER DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT._

Um…okay? Also, please don't throw that huge, scary fireball you somehow magically conjured up at me.

_Whoops, didn't even notice that happened. Third time this month!_

*Gulps* I think I'm going to leave now.

Sincerely,

Nico _and Zia_

**Uh, I feel like this chapter was bad. And that the characters were OOC. If so, sorry!**


	76. Chapter 76

**Hello again. My math teacher handed out a bunch of sheets broadcasting about some math competition happening in May- obviously, I did not show it to my parents. XD**

Dear Mortals,

As of right now, the Kane Chronicles and Percy Jackson crossover archive has 785 stories. I almost can't believe that one little remark of mine ("Manhattan has other problems, other gods") triggered so many crossovers. Key word: Almost. When you're a magician, you learn that practically anything can happen. For example, you could get possessed by Set, or become the Chief Lector after the old one died, or summon the same god who nearly destroyed you before willingly and fight Apophis. Or you could do all three, though I wouldn't recommend it. Trust me, dealing with any one of those things is extremely taxing.

Or, of course, you could meet pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows- even if that wasn't as fun as I hoped it would be.

Sincerely,

Amos


	77. Chapter 77

**And my mom found out about the math contest. Dam. **

Dear Mortals,

For your information, I. Am. Married. And even if I wasn't, I'd find a better spouse than some chaos-creating all-evil _snake. _

By the way, would you guys rather be burnt alive or dragged down into the Underworld with red sand? Either is okay with me and extremely painful!

Feel my wrath,

Set

**Is this okay? I thought it was kind of short…but I figured Set would be pretty to the point with this. REVIEW!**


	78. Chapter 78

**Hello, everyone. Sorry for the late update- my mom made our entire family go on some crazy cleaning marathon, because that's apparently what you do during March Break (Not)!**

**Also, apologies to Piggy for not writing her story- but if there's one perk to writing a story for your friend, it's that they're your FRIEND and won't get mad if you procrastinate continuously.**

**Well, kind of.**

**On to the chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

There are no fanfictions about me (Or if there are, I haven't seen them- excuse me if that is the case).

Unlike my brethren, however, I can sort of see why. After all, there are many things in the world to write about, such as essays on the evolution of My Little Pony, who really won the war of 1812, and of course how socks mysteriously disappear in the washing (Especially the blue ones).

Now, keep in mind that I wrote 'sort of understand'. You mortals often tend to miss those things, which are crucial to every person's survival. I, myself, have often worded things badly in the past which is why I HATE READING MY OLDE ESSAYS. THEY SUCK. *clears throat* I mean, just remember I write quite differently now, and you should write some stories about me or else you might regret it.

…What's that? What's my biggest regret? Elvis, of course! Such an amazing musician, and all you youngsters remember him as is the 'dude that died on a toilet'. _Such _a waste!

Sincerely,

Thoth


	79. Chapter 79

Dear Mortals,

Whatever the Seven said, ignore it.

Sincerely,

Nico


	80. Chapter 80

Dear Mortals,

Hi, everyone! Frank's writing this letter again because he's the one that can actually write with misspelling stuff and then going to him so he can be the Human Autocorrect (Note: Its sucks).

Anyways, we're writing to tell you that Nico won't end up with Walt/Anubis/Waltubis dude, especially since the last one kind of sounds like a walrus name- _shut up_ Percy, and Frank, cut that out! What? I'm just writing what you're saying! _Ahem. _They won't end up together because Nico obviously likes Will better. Piper even says so and she's the Beauty Queen of Romantic Awesomeness (Leo said that, please ignore it).

Sincerely,

The Seven

P.S. By the way, he'll probably find out about this somehow and write to tell you it's not true. Please don't. After all, denial is the first sign!


	81. Chapter 81

Dear Mortals,

…They know me too well, don't they?

hvclajbVLJAsibchlobvoFILQWHBCLBOSFEGOWQUFHBCKJQUWBEGCFOGK

Bhnlsbdvflowuehbfoh

Sincerely,

A Very Ticked Off Nico


	82. Chapter 82

…**My internet went down AGAIN, though thankfully it seems to work in the morning on Sundays until 11 am (Pattern I noticed). Also, the world has too many math competitions than it should, and never hide a flyer for one in your backpack because your mom will find it while snooping and you'll have to enter it. AND YES, MOM, I AM STUDYING FOR IT. STOP BUGGING ME ALREADY. **

Dear Mortals,

You do know that it can't snow in Camp Half-Blood, right? Not only because of the barrier, but because I would murder anyone who wrecks my strawberries. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sincerely,

Katie

P.S. I heard this February in Toronto was the coldest in history and burst out laughing. Being a demigod sure has it's perks!


	83. Chapter 83

**Went to the zoo today. Was fun for the most part, or at least until my sister discovered the frog and seal exhibits. The combined time my family spent at those places was 1 1/2 hours out of 5 1/2 hours, no lie. I did the math. **

Dear Mortals,

Listening to your cousin laugh like a hyena about your song preferences can really make you want to screw Disney.

Don't get me wrong, I love Disney and happy endings (Especially the happy endings!) just as much as the next guy, maybe even more. But lately, I feel like the people who work there are trying to kill me.

First with the stupid 'Let It Go' song that sounded good- at least until I heard it for the twenty thousandth time. Next with the Big Hero Six movie that was also good- at least until Tadashi died (I mean, _why_?). But all that was fine. All that would have been fine. I could have dealt with all that- at least until Nico found out my favourite song of all time was Under the Sea.

…That just set him off again. By the way, I should probably mention that he's sitting in my room with me as I write this. Why, I don't know. You'd think he'd be hanging around with Will or some- OW! That hurt! Fine, fine, I take that back. Forget I ever wrote that, okay? Nico's still insisting that they're 'just friends', though everyone knows denial is the first sign of lo- _OW_!

Back to the topic. I mean, what's so wrong with Under the Sea? It's a great song! And Sebastian's a great singer. For gods' sake, stop _laughing, _Nico! Even if Disney mixed up Poseidon and Triton (My brother ruling the sea would be a disaster, how could they not get that straight?), at least they didn't portray my dad with flaming blue hair!

…

…

…

Um, Nico? Please don't tell me you're summoning those very scary skeleton warrior thingys on purpose. Wait, you are? *nervous laugh* Well, look at the time! I'd love to stay and continue writing, but for my sake I really think I should start running. Like, now.

I hope I will be alive tomorrow,

Percy

**I hope this didn't offend any Disney fans. I like Disney, I really do. I just thought that some things might tick some certain demigods off. Also, I have not seen Big Hero Six, though my friend spoiled it for me (I don't watch it just to spite her). Sorry for the people who haven't and wanted to see it. Tadashi dies in the very beginning, though, so you still have the end to figure out. **

**REVIEW!**


	84. Chapter 84

**I don't feel like doing my homework. Regular text is Leo, **_**italics is Jason**_**. **

Dear Mortals,

I have an idea.

…_Can you give me a ten second head start while I run for my life?_

Haha, very funny. For your information, not all of my ideas destroy the Camp.

_Right. Just every two out of three._

Well, you're not very nice today. Did Piper cancel one of your dates or something?

_…How did you know?_

I'm psychic, that's how (Actually, Annabeth told me that the demigod that was supposed to show those new campers around got sick, so Piper had to sub). I feel bad about your ruined date, though.

_ Yeah, me too._

That's where my idea comes in! It's guaranteed to cheer you up!

_Oh no. On second thought, I'm perfectly fine wallowing in my misery. Please don't share your idea._

You see, I was walking along the beach yesterday while reminiscing about how our lives are affected by all these Greek myths and stories and how that more often than not sucks. Now that got me thinking about how all those Greek holidays affect us, too. Like The Feast of Fortuna, the Festival of Hope, etc. We celebrate those events and more at our respective camps, yet we never really do anything for holidays such as Christmas or New Years!

_Your point?_

My point is that we should! I know the people at Camp Half-Blood are Greek demigods, and Camp Jupiter are for Roman demigods/legacies, but most of us have at least one human parent that's from somewhere other than Greece/Rome. We all respect the godly side of us, why should the human side be any different? We could host parties to celebrate Kwanza, Easter, and more! And to make sure this new tradition begins with a good start, we can first host a party for one of my favourite holidays: HALLOWEEN!

_Surprisingly, this actually doesn't sound half bad. _

Why would it? Each Cabin could buy spooky decorations and think of creative ways to make their place look like a haunted house. We could make it a contest, though personally I think the Hades Cabin would win by a landslide. Ah well, it's not fun if it isn't hard. Oh, and don't forget the costumes! Should we make that a competition, too?

_Sure, I guess. What about candy, though? There's no Halloween without candy._

True. Schist, how could I forget? Luckily, though, that problem's easily solved. You can hand it all out!

_WHAT?_

Yeah! Just put on a Superman costume, do your flying thing, and shower everyone with sweets! It'll be awesome!

_Superman? Leo, there's no way-_

Damn, I can't wait to ask Chiron about this!

_ LEO-_

Come to think of it, I wonder if Percy will go as Aquaman?

Sincerely,

Leo _and Jason, who will not be going as Superman no matter what Leo says._

**I apologize if the Camps do celebrate mortal holidays by throwing parties. Also, I want food. And more excuses to not do math. **


	85. Chapter 85

Dear Mortals,

Hey. This isn't a chapter exactly, though I _will _give you guys something to read. You see, I entered a writing contest but didn't win, and I want to know why exactly so I can improve in the future. Seeing as my piece was not displayed, I feel like I can safely copy the article and paste it here. If you guys have any tips for me, that would be a big help. :)

Here we go...

**The Victim:**

His world was full of hurt.

Hurt when he was pushed down, hurt when people taunted him constantly- or at least one in particular did it constantly. Hurt when everyone around him turned a blind eye and left him there bleeding on the ground.

Yes, it hurt so much, hurt so bad. But the things that hurt most was the fact that no one seemed to care. No one was there to catch him when he fell, to sooth him when he wanted to cry.

No one.

Things were tough at home. With the new baby, his mother just didn't seem to have time for him any more, and his father was scrambling to find work ever since he'd lost his job.

As the eldest of five siblings, it should be his responsibility to be in charge. To be the one to look up to, he reasoned.

Honestly, though? There wasn't much to look at.

His family had been forced to move to a cheap apartment building because the couldn't afford their old home, and he was constantly getting tormented at school. Other kids, cool kids, _normal_ kids- they didn't have to deal with any of that.

He was _pathetic_.

He wanted to tell somebody what was happening, to have somebody to rely on, but who was there to listen? The teachers all loved the bully, and none of the students would do anything, they were all too scared. His family had enough to worry about without him weighing down on all their troubles.

So whenever he came home, he did his best to avoid them. To shut them out. To try and go about on his business like he didn't scream himself awake every night, like he wasn't full of fear every moment at school, like he didn't glance behind his back because he was so scared that he would be targeted.

One night during dinner, his mother looked up from his baby brother long enough to ask, "By the way, darling, how are things at school?"

He faked a smile and said, "Fine."

It was a lie.

She believed him.

And that hurt, too.

**The Bystander:**

He felt like a horrible person.

Everyday when he was at school, he acted normal. Nonchalant. All smiles, hi-fives, laughter. Like he didn't notice anything wrong, didn't notice what happened once the teachers left the room.

No, he would not be another target.

The most horrible thing?

Sometimes it was easy to forget it even happened. Sometimes he just saw the happy, carefree students milling about, as he chatted with his friends and laughed when they horsed around.

But sometimes, it was all too clear.

A student tripped.

A student shoved against the wall.

A student crying, while the bullies laughed and had their fun, during which everyone else looked somewhere else and tried to pretend they didn't see anything.

When that happened, he always felt guilt swirl inside him. His sister had been bullied, too. Teased mercilessly until she'd snapped. He could still picture the scene in his mind- walking home from school and finding her there on the kitchen floor, the police, the late night talks with his parents, and that horrible word, _suicide_...

That incident had torn his whole family apart. Now his mother lived in a state of depression, while his father had become entirely too overbearing with rules.

And it was all his sister's fault.

If she'd acted differently, gone with the crowd instead of standing out so much with her weird, neon clothes style and pink skirts, maybe what happened wouldn't have happened.

No, he wouldn't be like that. Wouldn't take the cowards way out. He'd stick it out and act like everybody else and _he wouldn't let the chance to help some kid he didn't even know stop him…._

So when a bully pinned a boy to the wall and demanded money, he averted his eyes and pulled his hoodie tighter around his head.

_Learn from your sister's mistakes_, he told himself. _Don't be like that boy, don't be one of _them_, destined to be a bully's punching bag for all of high school..._

Avoiding the victim's cries, one of his last views of the poor boy were of his eyes, wide and pleading, begging someone to help him.

How much times had his sister looked like that?

He turned and ran.

**The Bully:**

His father was always away. At first, that didn't seem to bother him so much. He had his mother, after all. And as babyish as that sounded, it was good for him, because his mother always cared. His mother was always the cheerful one, the reliable one, the one that had time for him when no one else did.

And now she was dead.

A car accident, they said. Someone's ride had ditched them and she had volunteered to drive them home. To reach their house she had taken a road past a popular pub, and the other person in the opposing car had been drunk.

People sent their condolences, but he shoved them away. Sorry didn't fix anything. Sympathetic smiles wouldn't bring his mother back.

The problem was that she'd been too optimistic. Too cheerful. Always believing there could be a better place for everyone in this world.

Well, look where her beliefs had gotten her, he thought bitterly. She'd left them. She'd left _him_.

The only light in his life had been vanquished… and his desire to be nice had disappeared, too.

He started picking fights. He had always been tall for his age, so he used that. Later, when he was caught, he blamed it on the other person. He'd always been a good kid before, so a lot of teachers believed him. He started acting tough, acting like nothing in the world could scare him.

And why not smoke while he was at it? What did he have left to lose?

Everytime he bullied, everytime he threw out an insult or settled something with his fists, it gave him a thrill. He knew his mother would disapprove of what he was doing, but who cared? She'd been kind. Too _nice_.

Well, he wouldn't make the same mistake. He'd show the world what he was made of! He definitely didn't care that his father's behaviour was worse now. Nope, didn't affect him at all. Not even when a month passed without a glimpse of the old man.

Though...why? Why was his father acting that way? Why did he have to deal with it? Why did his mother have to die? Why? Why? _Why?_

_Why couldn't somebody answer him?_

**The Outcome:**

In the end, they continued on. Each one of them having their own separate reasons for behaving like they have. All three living a life of unhappiness without a solution to solve it- and they aren't the only ones.

This story may be coming to a close, but many stories haven't. Many stories aren't even stories at all, because those stories are real. Caused by actions that they might not be able to control...

Because one action leads to another. And another leads to more. Multiplying and spreading out. Expanding, continuing…

Thus is the ripple effect of bullying.

_End._

Sincerely,

jayan0706

P.S. I feel like I don't say this enough, so I'll go ahead and say this now. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read my story when there are millions of other ones out there- it means the world to me. You guys are so awesome.


	86. Chapter 86

**So…hi (I'm kind of at lost for words here, I really have nothing to say unless you count thanking everyone who reviewed for their spectacular advice last chapter). **

Dear Mortals,

HELP ME. HOW DID I END UP IN SUCH AS SITUATION?

As you probably know, it's Mother's Day today. Thing is, I have absolutely NO idea what I should give Athena! I'VE SPENT A WEEK DEBATING MYSELF ABOUT THIS! Should I give her a book on architecture or an encyclopedia? Or should I give neither, because she's a goddess and probably knows everything that's included in those types of books? Or is it the gesture that counts? I CAN'T DECIDE.

Percy is not help, by the way. He listened to me for about one minute while I rambled on about how important this was, blinked a couple of times, and advised that I just send whatever I want to send her. He said Athena would appreciate the gift no matter what, BUT WHAT IF I SOMEHOW MANAGE TO DEFY THE ODDS AND ANGER HER?

What is a daughter supposed to _do_?

Sincerely,

Annabeth


	87. Chapter 87

**Hi everyone! Sorry if my updating skills dropped recently… I don't actually have a legit reason this time. *Ducks pie* DON'T KILL ME. It won't happen again, promise! **

**Also, is anyone else excited that it's technically summer? Though it where I'm from, it was actually pretty cold today and I had to wear a sweater outside. Gah. And my mom decided to sign me up for all these crazy classes so I'll have a good chance of passing the IB exam or I'll die. She actually said that to me!**

**Enough of my pointless ranting, that's all I have to say for this week. Enjoy your chapter, and please leave a review on your way out!**

Dear Mortals,

Die.

Die in the most agonizing way, as slow as possible and with no one to hear you scream. Die before you have a chance to really live, to do all the good that you no doubt were aiming for. That is the type of scene that my most cheerful (Though a monster can not be such a thing) daydreams bring me. Pray for forgiveness, insolent mortals, and obey the instructions I give you, because I am obviously your superior.

So obviously you should all die and fall into the deepest area of Tatarus so I can use you to drag me out of this torturous place. How could I even deserve such a thing? Tatarus is the pit of evil, and I was definitely on the right side.

So how _dare _you support the Seven when the correct option was in front of you the whole time. How _dare _you cheer while Mother Earth fell! Most importantly, how _DARE _you wished for Percy and Annabeth to live when they were in my clutches! I NEARLY HAD THEM BOTH, HAD THE GIRL WHO _KILLED _ME, BUT THEN THAT NO-GOOD, PATHETIC, TRAITOR TITAN HAD TO RUIN EVERYTHING!

…What did you just say? How dare _I _insult Bob? See, that's just the sort of thing I'm talking about! What type of name is _Bob_? How could the mighty me lose to someone with the name of _Bob_?

Hey, don't laugh! Bobs are actually, ugh, deadly! Yes, they're very dangerous! And he had a _broom_! Don't you know how battle-worthy those magnificent weapons are? Why, they're practically legendary, and- STOP LAUGHING! No, don't laugh harder- UGH! MORTALS!

Wishing you all torturous deaths,

Kelli


	88. Chapter 88

**Sorry. Gomen'nasai. Desolé. Duì bù qî. Izvinite. I AM SO SORRY. I SHOULD HAVE UPDATED SOONER BUT I JUST COULDN'T MAKE MYSELF. Ugh.**

**Anyways, here's your chapter.**

Dear Mortals,

_Once upon a time,_

_ There was a little a** hole._

_ Some saw him as a leader,_

_ No one liked him, though._

_ Not even the readers,_

_ With their twisted minds,_

_ Could bring their weird souls,_

_ To like him inside._

_ His name was Octavian,_

_ Hated by all,_

_ And so all were happy,_

_ When to death he did fall._

-Yami the Outcast's friend

WHO WROTE THIS? WHO? I HEREBY PRONOUNCE THEM A GENIUS! -Leo the Amazing Valdezinator

…Wow. Just… wow. -Jason, who is not amused by what Leo did there

I have a feeling that if I write something deep, I will end up laughing and never stop. So here's what I'll say: Author of this marvellous poem, you are going to Elysium. -Piper, who didn't notice what Leo did into her boyfriend mentioned it, thanks Sparky

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, I'm done. -Percy, who approves of Piper calling Jason Sparky because it annoys him

***claps slowly* **-Annabeth, who wants to smack Percy because honestly, _when will he grow up?_

I'm torn between two emotions here. Should I smile because I like the poem or should I not because that'd be rude since he'd dead? Um… you know what, he was a jerk. XD -Hazel, who notices how even though Annabeth pretends to think Percy's childish, she still loves him to pieces

…Best. Thing. Ever. -Frank, who agrees will Hazel, because he. Ships. Them. So. Hard. OTP!

Sincerely,

The Seven

**BTW- Thanks to the lovely Yami, who shared the amazing poem her friend wrote with me and let me use it for a chapter. And thanks to her friend, who wrote the poem and made us all fall off our chairs laughing.**


	89. Chapter 89

**Hi. Regular is Percy, **_**italics is Jason.**_

Dear Mortals,

You know, I think I've got the best girlfriend in the world.

_Oh, not this again._

What do you mean?

_You're so hung up over Annabeth. It's always Wise Girl this, Wise girl that. If you really love her that much, you'd _know _she's the best girlfriend. Which she isn't. I mean, c'mon, I have _Piper.

So? No offence, Sparky-

_HEY. _

But Piper's nothing compared to my girl. Sure, she may be the daughter of the love goddess, but me and Wise Girl went to PARIS for our one month anniversary. They speak the language of love there! Or one of them, anyways.

_First of all, it's Wise Girl and I', not me and Wise Girl. Second of all, didn't you kind of _forget _that anniversary?_

DETAILS.

_Hmph, yeah right. Piper's always been there for me, even when I lost my memory. She never gave up hope that one day we'd become a couple. And when I kind-of died sort of maybe ish, she charmspeaked me back from Hades. _

Ugh! This argument is getting us nowhere (Especially since I'm right).

_I agree (No, I am). What do you think, though? _

I just told you.

_Not you. The people reading this. Them._

Oooooh. Yeah, what _do _theythink?

_Is Piper the better girlfriend?_

Or Annabeth?

_Tell us in the reviews!_

Sincerely,

Percy _and Jason_


	90. Chapter 90

**I totally saw this coming. Regular's Percy, **_**italics is Jason.**_

Dear Mortals,

0.0 Wow. There wasn't even a need to count the reviews- Annabeth won by a landslide.

_I know.*sulks* _

Stop that.

_*sulks even more*_

ARGGGGGGH. WHY ME?

_*stops sulking* Because you suck._

Hey! It's not my fault the readers have common sense! Though if it makes you feel better, that question WAS pretty stupid anyways. I mean, Annabeth's obviously my soulmate for life, but you and Annabeth? Ew.

_True. When you put it that way, I guess it really depends on what you're looking for in a girlfriend, and whose your type-_

Exactly!

_ -Like how you're not Nico's. _

… GTFO.

_*smirks* You walked right into that one._

Jason Grace, I swear one of these days I'm going to kill you.

_Yeah right._ _Maybe in a hundred years if you get super duper lucky, but definitely not today._

_ Bye, _

_ Jason._

-.- Seriously, Jase? Signing off without me? Ugh, this is why having cousins suck. The whole Olympian family is totally dysfunctional.

And yes, I know we're not technically related, but whatever. Gotta go kiss my girlfriend WHOSE MORE FABULOUS THAN YOURS.

Damn, he didn't fall for it. *sighs* It was worth a shot. Waitaminutelightningbolt-

***BAM***

Why, oh _why_ does fate hate me,

Percy Jackson

P.S. Do you know if there's an insurance that covers cloths being ruined by lightning bolts? 'Cause that happens to me _a lot. _


	91. Chapter 91

**Sorry for not updating in three weeks, guys, I really mean it. :(**

**If it makes you feel better, I was trying to do some of this weeks' homework for my classes this morning, which isn't as easy as it sounds because the package I got was HUGE. I spent over two hours on it before I decided to recount the pages again (Because the next problem on the sheet was a hard one, and I wanted to waste time). But this time, while I was flipping through them, I realized that half of the pages had ANSWERS on them. They'd given me an answer key! I'd missed them when counting before and as a result thought I had way more than I actually did and worked off my butt for nothing. You can laugh. **

Dear Mortals,

Don't laugh.

Really, don't laugh. I don't know why anyone would find this _funny, _like my brother does, but just in case- don't laugh.

Since Connor is currently ROFLing after I'd asked him my question, I decided to suck up my pride and come to you. No, I am not desperate. You should be _flattered _that I'm even doing this in the first place.

So, lets say l liked a girl. No, I do not mean this literally! It's just _hypothetically, _okay? Advice I don't need right now but might in the future, like, way way way into the future, because I definitely don't have a crush on anyone now. Honest.

_Hypothetically _speaking, say this girl is absolutely gorgeous, kind, patient, but bossy and feisty when pushed. _Hypothetically _speaking, she (For some bizarre reason) dislikes me quite a lot and _hypothetically _speaking, say I want to change that and get her to see me in a more positive light.

Ugh. _Fine_. I can tell no one believes me- yes, it's Katie.

I told you _not_ to laugh! Well, at least only some are laughing, the the rest are you are staring at me with knowing smirks on your faces and some are even smiling super creepily.

Just for the record, and I can personally vouch for this, since I've seen some Tratie shippers in action- _there is nothing scarier in this world than a fangirl. _

I don't know if Katie doesn't see them or chooses to ignore them, but in the end, there's only so much they can do. It doesn't matter if the whole world ships it or just your mother. In the end, no one (Except for Aphrodite) can change who you love.

In the past, I've done all sorts of things to try and earn her affection. Putting chocolate bunnies on the roof of the Demeter Cabin, blowing up her flowerpots, borrowing spells from the Hecate kids and turning the flower's in her garden into roses that sing Thriller 24/7… you know, pulling her pigtails.

But _nothing_ works.

Help, anyone?

Sincerely,

Travis


	92. Chapter 92

**I'm so sad because school's nearly here! Or maybe it's already here for some people. *sniffs* Goodbye, summer!**

**A while ago, someone requested that I have the characters react to the first chapter of Magnus Chase the Sword of Summer, and I agreed. However, I don't know why, but I can't seem to copy the chapter here without causing a load of complications. So I'll let you find it instead. Since links aren't allowed here, I've done what I've seen many other smart souls do and put spaces in between the words. Just remove them to go to the website: www. thefandom books/ read- the-first- chapter-of- rick-riordans-upcoming- magnus-chase -book /**

**And then come back for this chapter.**

Dear Mortals,

**(Go back to A/N, this is important)**

…Wow, Annabeth. Even your cousin is scared of you. -Repair Boy

_Thanks_. -Wise Girl

Do you remember this happening? And shut up, Valdez, you're talking to my girlfriend. -Seaweed Brain

Your girlfriend's scary. -Repair Boy

I said shut up (I agree). -Seaweed Brain

Just because you put brackets around your words doesn't mean I can't see them, Percy. -.- And yes, I do- that's what happened yesterday! -Wise Girl

Seriously? -Beauty Queen

Seriously! You can even ask my dad! -Wise Girl

Oh wow. -Sparky

What do you think this means, then? -Panda Man

*sighs* I don't know, but nothing good. -Wise Girl

I really hope nothing bad happens. We've had so much drama lately, with Gaea and all. And the chapter name- 'Good Morning! You're Going to Die.' creeped me out. I'm worried Magnus is going to die. If he doesn't, good. If he does… as unfortunate as it will be, I'll have something in common with him. -Miss Metal Detector

:( -Panda Man

Yeah. -Miss Metal Detector

Cool. I set my head on fire. -Repair Boy

WHAT? -Panda Man

Just kidding. I got tired of the dark atmosphere. I can't believe that shocked you though- my face is so hot, of course it'd go up in flames! -Repair Boy

…Lets sign off now. -Sparky

Good idea. EVERYONE, SAY GOODBYE ON THE COUNT OF THREE! THREE, TWO, ONE! -Seaweed Brain

Sincerely,

The Seven (AKA the demigods who are too lazy to write all of our names)


	93. Chapter 93

…**Hi.**

***Gets hit in the face with a rotten banana***

***Wipes it off* Ugh. Gross. Probably deserved that, though.**

**Sorry, guys. I really wish I had a good excuse for why I didn't update for so long… but I really don't. School's okay. I'm in a split class (ugh), and I got the teacher I didn't really wanted because I knew he was teaching a split class, but whatever. On a brighter note, I'm getting my braces off tomorrow! Yay!**

**Now on with the chapter! Regular is Leo, **_**italics is Zia.**_

Dear Mortals,

So.

_You can set things on fire, huh?_

Yup. What about you?

_Please boy, setting things on fire is what I do._

Bet I can do it better.

_*raises eyebrow* You really sure about that?_

Heck yeahI'm sure.

_Prove it._

*sets finger on fire*

_*sets hand on fire*_

*sets arm on fire*

_*sets upper body on fire*_

*sets trashcan on fire*

_*sets a whole roll of trashcans on fire*_

Huh. Not bad.

_Give up yet?_

Give up? Do you even know me? I don't _do _giving up. I'll beat you if I have to lose my arm in the process!

_*scoffs* Don't be so overdramatic. We won't even get to that point- I'll beat you before lunchtime. _

I'll beat you before breakfast!

_Breakfast passed._

…Details!

_*rolls eyes*_

DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT THIS HOT CHICKEN NUGGET!

_…Don't roll my eyes at _what_?_

Hot chicken nugget. Hey- I just told you not to roll your eyes! Humph. You just wish you were as awesome as me.

_I would, but it's not my style to pick the worse option. Anyways, watch this!_

**WHOOOSH**

_…Whoops._

Wow. Are buildings supposed to burn that fast?

_*blushes* Um… I was trying to end this fight._

Yeah, this fight is ending all right. As well as dozens of lives.

_Not if I have anything to do with it._

What? HEY! You can't go running off into flames like that, it's dangerous!

_Dangerous is my middle name. Besides, I started this mess, I'll stop it._

…I'll help you.

_0.0_

It's not my style to stand back and watch bad things happen.

_Don't be reckless. You're not thinking this through-_

I've said it once and I'll say it again. I try not to think. It interferes with being nuts.

_*slowly starts to smile* Nuts, huh? A little dose of insanity is always helpful now and then._

Lets make it now instead of then, that buildings not going to put itself out anytime soon.

_Yes, lets go._

The newlyfriends,

Leo _and Zia_


	94. Chapter 94

**Hey guys! So I finally got myself to update after my friend mentioned she hadn't seen a new chapter in a while. And I say seen and not read because she doesn't read my fanfic, but she followed it on an old account of hers so whenever I update she gets spammed. Or something like that. **

**How's life? Mine's okay, except for the fact there's this itsy-bitsy thing called the IB test coming up in less than 2 weeks. *makes face* Yikes! I should probably be studying for that, but whatever. Writing for you guys is so much more fun.**

**Now without further ado, I present to you all the latest Dear Mortals chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

Hi, I'm blue.

*chuckles* Wow, you should have seen your faces! Oh, sorry if you found that rude. I just wanted to see what your reactions would be- my skin colour does shock most people, even my own son.

Speaking of him, how's he doing? *reclines on throne* I do try to see what he's up to now and then, but I figured you'd know more than I do. My children don't pop up here much anymore ever since Apophis was defeated, and it seems like you fan fiction writers have extremely creative imaginations about what they do in their free time. Whoops, I just thought of something inappropriate.

_Anyways, _I haven't heard from Sadie in a while. I do hope Anubis is treating her well- or is he Walt? Walt or Anubis… uh, Walnubis? Does that work? OW!

Sorry, that was me. My wife just threw a shoe -hey, that rhymes!- at my head because apparently calling someone that is worse than the curse -hey, I rhymed again!- of feeding them to Ammit the Devourer (I still refuse to call him Poochiekins). Oops, I got off topic again. Like I was saying, I hope Sadie's well. I hope the same for her brother, of course, and I do wish I could still be alive to look out for them. *sighs* But at least they have each other… yes, that is a blessing indeed.

Could you do me a favour, though? Could you all watch over them, make sure they're happy and living the life they deserve? It would mean so, so much to me if you did, but of course, that's your decision.

Thanks even if you don't do it,

Osiris/Carter and Sadie's Dad/Julius Kane

P.S. Oh, I nearly forgot. Tell Walnubis *ducks shoe* that if he dares touch my daughter, I'll kill him! *smiles* Okay? Okay. I'd say the same for Zia but well… lets just say the saying _hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned _is true. Trust me, I'd know- I rule the underworld, after all.

**How was it? Did I get his character okay? Tell me in your REVIEWS! **


	95. Chapter 95

**Hi everyone! I just took the IB test (AKA death) yesterday, so I thought I'd update today. Not to be whiny, but I kind of feel like I've been missing a few readers for a while. I don't see some people review when they used to and I'm starting to worry they dropped off the face of the Earth. Which would mean they'd get away from Gaea- always a perk XD- but still. I admit that's probably partly my fault, not updating as much as I used to, but with the test past you'll probably see more of me now. If you're still there, can you please review to let me know you haven't died? Thanks even if you don't.**

**EDIT: Hey guys. Turns out this wasn't posted on the date I originally tried to get a new chapter -I really don't know why, did something shut down?- so it turns out I'm a lot later with the update. Sorry I didn't realize sooner. Enjoy the chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

An awesome reviewer of this story named Kittyaceres asked me if I burn my facial hair instead of shaving. The answer is no, but only because -well, it's a long story. *perks up* Wanna hear it?

Great. And yes, I did hear you all scream no. I don't care, it's time for Super Leo's Story Time!

You see, Kittyacere's not the only person whose ever thought of that idea. I did, too! So I decided to test it out, 'cause like, who wouldn't? It seemed okay at first, everything was going along nicely. What happened next was totally not my fault.

(Well technically, it kind of was. But only a liiiiiiiiiitle bit, I assure you.)

I set my face on fire to test the shaving theory out. And it worked! At least in the beginning. But honestly, I can't help it if I get spooked, right? Yes, Harley _was_ only asking me if he could use the bathroom now, he really needed to pee, and yeah, he might have been asking for the past five minutes, and yeah, I probably should have heard him, but I didn't! My reflection in the mirror was just so amazing, you see, and I got carried away with the thought of never having to shave again (Because who wouldn't love that?) that I kind of, sort of, _jumped _when my brother opened the door (Don't laugh- that's actually really scary!) and rushed in (He couldn't hold _it_ any longer). To prevent myself from slipping, I grabbed the first thing my hand made contact with. AKA a towel.

Doesn't sound so bad, does it? But you see, my face was still on fire. And in the surprise, my hands had caught fire too. So naturally the towel did as well.

And of course, I, being the heroic person I am, couldn't let the towel burn. After all, I was in the Camp's public building for showers and toilets, and what would happen if the whole building went up in flames? Would we have to all pee in one of those dug hole thingamabobs? No one knows, because thankfully I ran out of the place with the flaming towel before that could happen.

Now the most logical thing to do would have been to run to the Canoe Lake, which in case you didn't know, is directly to the right of the showers and toilets. But in the panic, I kind of forgot. Also, I'm not really a very logical person. Instead, I ran towards to Arena, hoping to find Percy or something. I didn't.

You see -and this is totally not my fault either- I kind of slammed into someone else before that happened.

That someone was Nico di Angelo.

"[CENSORED!]" He yelled, and my first thought was _I'm screwed, _because like, he's pretty intimidating. My second thought was _oh whoops he's on fire. _

To be honest, that was probably his first thought.

He said something else (Though still as rude, if not more) and then tried to stop, drop, and roll, tripping over me instead. In the confusion I got knocked down, see. The towel was burning beside me.

Obviously, this caused quite the spectacle. Nearly two dozen people were watching already (But not actually helping), Clarisse among them. She looked like she was having a field day.

Nico finally (Don't ask me how, I was busying grumbling to myself how happy la Rue was) managed to put himself out, and then he turned to me, looking like he was about to commit murder.

"Er," I said. Shut up! It wasn't my best moment, okay?!

And then, just when I thought all hope was lost, Will Solace came running by. "Katie said someone was on fire!"

_Bless, _I thought, as Nico spun around. "Will! Hi!"

His voice was two octaves higher than usual. Looked like Piper's prediction about those two was right.

"Nico! Are you okay?" As Will fussed over the son of Hades, I -being the amazingly awesome person I am- managed to get up and put the towel out with the bucket of water Will had been carrying (And abandoned, as soon as he saw Nico). Then I turned to leave -no, I was _not _scared of what would happen if Nico remembered that I had knocked him down! I just suddenly recalled a very important thing I had to do! But Will turned to me before I could.

"Oh, hey Leo!" Will said. "Can you go call the cleanup harpies for me? Some campers are complaining it smells like burnt donkey hair in the bathroom."

And that is how fire-shaving ended. Will may or may not have saved my _podex, _which almost cancels out the fact he said my hair smells like a donkey's. Almost.

Sincerely,

Leo

**P.S. To the Guest who asked me if I'd read 'Magnus Chase and the Sword of Summer', I'm sorry to say i haven't. I'm waiting for my friend to finish so I can borrow her copy- my parents refuse to let me buy the thing myself, they hate fantasy. **


	96. Chapter 96

**A lot of people asked why my parents hate fantasy. It's because they think it's 'pointless' and 'doesn't teach you anything'. Also, here's your chapter. Review and get a cookie: ****(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)**

Dear Mortals,

How's it going? This is Carter, by the way. Me and Sadie are going to write out names at the end of our sentences for all of you people who have devices that don't show italics. -Carter

Yeah. For example, right now it's the most amazingest magician of all time -me! -Sadie

She means Sadie. Also, seriously sis? What in Ra's name is '_amazingest_'? Honestly! -Carter

The awesome new word I just invented. It's not my fault you have no sense of humour, dear brother. -Sadie

I do so have a sense of humour! It just doesn't pop up very often! -Carter

*rolls eyes* Of course. That explains it. Anyways, we decided to write to you all today because last year, seven demigods sang you Christmas carols. We thought it'd be only fit to do something of our own.

But obviously, we don't want to copy them. Since not all families celebrate Christmas (And we're aware that it's not Christmas today, just Christmas Eve), we decided to include all types of holidays! -Carter

Yeah. And there'll be no singing, since that would take too much work -I mean, we're trying to be original. -Sadie

To all those people that celebrate Hanukkah, we're sorry that you guys didn't get a chapter dedicated on your holiday. Same for those who celebrate the winter solstice and St. Lucia's Day. Still, we hoped you had fun. -Carter

If you celebrate Kwanzaa, though, habari gani! Hope you guys have fun on December 26th-January 1st. Have fun at karamu, and remember to eat lots of food! -Sadie

If you celebrate Christmas, then we hope that your's this year is merry. Hopefully you're name is on Santa's nice list and you get lots of presents! -Carter

If you celebrate Three King's Day, or the Feast of Epiphany, then we hope you enjoy this day and make tons of memories with your friends and family. -Sadie

If you celebrate Boxing Day, then we hope you enjoy all the sales and get lots of great deals! -Carter

If you celebrate Omisoka, then we hope you eat plenty of delicious toshikoshi-soba. Don't worry about watching your weight -after all, you've spent plenty of time cleaning your houses. Drink Amazake, sing your heat out on December 31, and in short, have a great time! -Sadie

If you celebrate New Year's Eve, then we hope you're going to a party this year. And if not, maybe next year you will! All types of events are hosted on this day and it's a good reason as any to get out and have some fun. Then again, you could be like me and stay home reading a book. -Carter

…That's your idea of fun? Seriously? -Sadie

What? It's enjoyable! And they should definitely be enjoying themselves this month. -Carter

True. Also, sorry if we missed any holidays that you celebrate. There's so many that it's hard to keep track, and we wish you a good time anyways. -Sadie

Yeah. Hey, we should do that to _everyone, _though. -Carter

You know, sometimes you actually have semi-decent ideas, darling brother. On three. -Sadie

Two. -Carter

One! -Sadie

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!** -Kane siblings

Best wishes,

Carter and Sadie Kane

**Again, sorry if I missed any holidays, I honestly freaked when I saw all those celebrations listed on the websites I went to, and wondered if those were **_**all **_**or if there were **_**more**_** and so on. I only meant to list holidays in December, but then I felt it'd be unfair to those who celebrate holidays starting in January, but it's not January, but what do I do and this thing popped out. So yeah. Happy holidays? Review to give me a Christmas gift!**


	97. Chapter 97

Dear Mortals,

CAAAAAAAARTEEEEEER! -Sadie

*clamps hands over ears* Ugh, Sadie, my _eardrum_! Why are you screaming this early in the morning?

BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF THE BEST JOKE. -Sadie

… -Carter

What? -Sadie

… I really really _really _hate you sometimes, you know that right? IT'S 2 AM. ONLY YOU WOULD WAKE ME UP BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT OF A JOKE AT _2 AM. _Couldn't this have waited until morning? -Carter

No. Want to hear the joke? -Sadie

I can't believe you. For Ra's sake, go to your room and let me sleep! Of course I don't want to hear it! -Carter

I'm going to pretend you didn't say anything. Here's the joke. Do you know how Donald Trump's called a new species of orange people?***** -Sadie

Yes… -Carter

But do you know why he's a pumpkin and not an orange? -Sadie

No… -Carter

Because his brain's full of pulp******! -Sadie

… -Carter

What? Don't "…" me! It's genius! You get it, right? Tell me I'm a genius! -Sadie

…You're a genius. A genius that's also annoying and stupid and if you don't get out of my room right now to let me sleep I'll ugh… do something bad to you. -Carter

You know, that sounded surprisingly threatening until you failed to think of a threat. Brother darling, you're patheticness amuses me. -Sadie

Gee, thanks. -Carter

So does your sarcasm. -Sadie

ZZZZZ,

Carter

And your way of signing off. Though it's rude, too. How unlike you. Usually you're the sweet, kind, polite one. I'm supposed to be rude. Hello? It's me. Sorry, couldn't resist. Seriously though, hello? Caaaarter? You there? Gosh, you actually bloody signed off without telling me beforehand, didn't you? I thought it was a joke! Not that you fooled me or anything! Ugh! Carter! Respond! This is boring. I'll go annoy someone else if you don't reply soon! You going to reply? -Sadie

Okay, fine then. I'll sign off too. Then you'll be the one talking to yourself… except you're asleep so you can't. But that's irrelevant. -Sadie

The One True Awesome One,

Sadie

**Disclaimer: I did not make the joke in this chapter up- that privilege goes to one of my friends. I'm not sorry if this warded off any Donald Trump fans. **

***Apparently, Trump's face is almost always this shade of orange, so some people call him that. **

****I think that's what the gooey, yucky stuff in a pumpkin's called. Sorry if I'm wrong. **


	98. Chapter 98

Dear Mortals,

Why do I get no love?

In some ways, I understand. You are (for the most part) adolescent beings with a limited amount of patience, as teens often are. And the majority of you probably hate waiting, as well.

But could you please, _please, _consider the fact that I exist? Yes, I am a minor character, however, I appear more often than Will Solace, and even he is more popular than me. I don't mean that in a jealous way, honest. I was never the most sociable person in any room, never the most accepted and cared for, but at least I wasn't glossed over as unimportant. Well, my fellow centaurs certainly disagreed… but my students always seemed to respect me, at the very least, which made me glad. It's part of the reason I love teaching so much, because this way I can make everyone believe they're capable of something. At least, until they die.

And sometimes -most times- they do die. And that's always sad. But there are always other students there to support me, and while they can never really replace the ones that have passed on, they're there. They're the reason I'm _here. _My purpose. My strength. I live to help them achieve something, and while I've never asked for all the credit for their success, I've never thought it was too much to ask to be recognized as one of the factors in it.

Of course, it's ultimately your decision. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do, just please consider my point. Thank you for reading, and have a nice day.

Sincerely,

Chiron

**I am so sorry. So, so, so sorry. Honest. Words can't even describe how sorry I am.**

**There's no excuse for being missing the amount of time I have. I don't know if you'll even want to hear them, so it's great I don't have any good ones, other than complete lack of inspiration. Eventually I decided to not force myself to write when I didn't an to because all I'd write was meaningless, terrible junk. And I've tried to write, I really have. **

**It makes me feel worse when I consider the fact that this isn't to only long break I've taken. I used to update once every few days, now it's usually a month. I've known about my sporadic updates for a while now, but I kept trying to convince myself it was just a phase and I didn't need to draw attention to it, though you guys probably noticed on your own. **

**Again, I'm sorry. If anyone has decided to abandon reading this story I totally understand. Thanks for putting up with me this long. **

**Sincerely, **

** jayan0706**


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